So, you're about to have a baby and your mind is spinning because you're wondering how the moms of the world do it all. (News flash: They don’t!) It seems so overwhelming, and you'd love to hear how some other moms have made it through those exhausting newborn days you keep hearing about.
As a mom of three kids, I can tell you the biggest thing that will get you through the chaos is to set boundaries — for other people and for yourself. Don't feel like you have to play hostess or let people come over simply because they want to see the baby. You are allowed to say no. And listen, don’t even think about straightening up, cleaning, or cooking those first few days. Sure, you can, but your body and your mind need an adjustment period.
Here are another 10 "hacks" from experienced moms that will help make the newborn stage bearable.
Give yourself something to look forward to
“I saved some of my favorite treats and snacks for those hard midnight feedings. 2 a.m. was a lot more bearable with an ice cream bar.”
– Emily P., mom of 2
Don’t be a martyr
“Ask for help. You do not have to do it all yourself contrary to popular belief. “
– Julie H., mom of 2
Prep everything ahead of the birth
“As the birth gets closer, make double batches of food and freeze one. Also, make sure you have stuff on hand for no-cook meals like smoothies. Hire a cleaning service right before the baby comes to do a deep clean.”
– Rachel S., mom of 3
Shower power
“Put a bassinet in the bathroom so you can always have a shower.”
– Sarah G., mom of 3
Make things easy for yourself
“Make a 'favorite' list so you can easily have groceries delivered. Plan on being delirious and don’t expect yourself to do a lot. Also, get two of those feeding pillows. One for your room and one for the main area of the house.”
– Emily K., mom of 2
Cabbage for sore breasts
“Cold cabbage was a lifesaver for me. It really does help with engorged breasts.”
– Lindsay F., mom of 2
Baby containment everywhere is key
“Have something portable to keep the baby in that you can easily take from room to room. This makes it a lot easier to shower, go upstairs, etc."
– Sarah M., mom of 2
Say ‘yes’ to help
“Accept help. Don’t try to be a hero. Also, coffee. Strong coffee.”
– Roseann R., mom of 2
Keep essentials downstairs
“Keep a toothbrush and toothpaste in the first floor bathroom. We barely left the first floor those first few days.”
– Erin M., mom of 3
Set expectations for visitors
“Warn people ahead of time they might not be able to hold the baby when they visit. They might be eating or sleeping. This will lead to fewer hurt feelings.”
– Jamie L., mom of 3
Leave one message for everyone who wants to visit
“Turn your phone off and change your voice mail to something like, 'We are home and all well,' with the height and weight of the baby. Let people know you will get in touch with them when you are ready for visitors."
– Rachel S., mom of 3
It’s important to remember you just gave life to a new human
There is nothing greater than that. The main goal is to make sure you and the baby are healthy, and to get what you need. Sometimes that looks like ordering takeout for a week straight and telling friends and family they can’t come over unless they are going to help — and that's totally OK. Just remember: This is one time in your life where you get to do exactly what you want and need, no questions asked.
