Tapping into true survival mode isn’t something that many people experience anymore. Even when pregnancy throws you for a loop, and you feel like your body is out of control, you have saltines and your doctor to help get you through it. The experience is unique, but you have ways to help combat difficult symptoms. I don’t know what I would have done without my ginger ale and Sour Patch Kids.
Once you go into labor, you’re ready for it — or so you think. Labor can hit you hard, and it’s different for everyone. I had a very difficult labor and delivery with my first. I dug into a well of strength that I didn’t know I had. I thought I’d reached the bottom of it.
Then came the time to go home.
I had no idea what I was in for. It was a completely new life than the one I had lived so far. I thought I was tired before, but I had no idea. While I had just witnessed how remarkable a woman’s body is, the transition into survival mode was unexpected, but appreciated.
You’re suddenly responsible for another life, and motherhood is nothing if not all-consuming. Exhaustion hits you like a ton of bricks. Your body is not used to being woken up so often. The zombie-like daze lasts for weeks. Those first few days, or weeks, or months, you tap into a survival mode that we don’t often feel in modern society.
“Bouncing back” is a fantasy. Diving into those survival instincts is what got me through it all. I rested. I held the baby, ate, and slept whenever I could.
Here are some things every new mom needs to do — guilt-free — in those early days:
Embrace the chaos
Life with a newborn is unlike anything you’ve experienced before. Your schedule is no longer your own. You are now living in 2-hour increments because that’s about how long they stay awake, and most of that time is spent eating. Settle in for a lot of couch time, mama, but that’s okay. You need it, and nothing is quite as beautiful as your new baby. Plus, you can catch up on your shows.
Eat the carbs
Don’t even attempt to worry about the crud related to getting your “body back” when your baby is new. No one cares. Even you. Your survival instincts will kick in, and you will eat, especially if you’re breastfeeding. You will be hungry all the time, and that is okay. My husband would make me toast at 2 a.m. Your body is not your own right now. It is more concerned with making enough milk for that baby. Your body doesn’t care as much about your needs and the desire to get back in shape.
Ask for help
Every new mom can get overwhelmed. With my first, I had a rough tear during delivery. I was in pain and on meds for a while. I couldn’t even sit up in bed because it put too much pressure there. Your husband/partner is there to help you. Let him do things for you. Let him make you food and bring it to you when the baby is sleeping on you. Have him do all the diaper changes. Whatever you need. He’s in survival mode too, but he’s there to help you, and he loves you, so he will.
Limit visitors
It’s a rough time of adjustment. You’re constantly tired and hungry. Limit visitors and keep any visits short. Grandparents can come and see the baby, but don’t make it a long affair. You won’t be up for it because it takes a while for the zombie-like daze to fade.
Don't apologize
Survival mode is hard, but it is also awesome. You need this time. Don’t worry about not keeping in touch. Don’t worry about cleaning the house. All you need to worry about is taking care of that new baby and yourself. I only used my time and energy on what mattered in those first few months and let my husband take care of the rest.
When you come out of survival mode, it’ll be in stages. You will have days when you dive back in though, such as teething or when your kid is sick. It is a hidden well of strength that you can come back to and draw from whenever you like. That place will be there for you to return to whenever you need it, and that is a gift in itself.
