It’s that time of year when your social media feeds are full of pictures of your friends and family members living their best lives on vacay. Perhaps you’re feeling a bit jealous, and then that jealousy evolves into something we’ve all experienced: mom guilt.
I’m a mom of four children, ranging from a preschooler to a tween. I want you to know that you are not a bad mom if you’ve decided that your family isn’t going on a summer vacation this year.
Whatever your reasons, not taking your family on a vacation is OK
I promise. Your kids won’t be scarred for life. Yes, they may, like you, have twinges of jealousy when their friends brag about enjoying the beach or a mountain hike. However, we will all get over it.
Let’s be real. Summer vacations are incredibly expensive, even when you only have one or two children. The trip always costs more than you budgeted for. So many of us get into vacay mode and let loose, saying too many yeses to our kids’ requests. We’re talking mini golf, horseback riding, souvenirs, and the snacks. So. Many. Snacks. Trips aren’t affordable for many families.
A summer trip may also drain you and your partner’s vacation time, leaving little left for anything else the rest of the year. Some companies lump sick days and vacation days together, which doesn’t work out well for families with kids. As you well know by now, kids get sick — often.
The main reason why I loathe family vacations is the stress and uncertainty
It takes days to pack up and head out, for a trip where the weather may or may not be good. There can be, (and often are), flight delays. It’s very hard for my family to find a rental car that fits all of us and our luggage. There’s so much planning leading up to the trip, a trip that can easily cost thousands of dollars. Plus, since when was a family vacay ever rejuvenating and relaxing for the parents?
That’s right, friends. Never.
Whatever your reason is, it’s valid. So if you and your crew are staying home this summer, that is just fine. But we have to make peace with it. Otherwise, we’ll spend the whole summer resentful of others or toward our own reasons for not taking a trip.
It’s been about four years since our family of six has gone on a big summer vacation, and I have some tips for you on how to make
peace with your decision to stay put the next few months:
First, you’ve got to stop scrolling
If your friends and family members’ vacation posts — and there are a lot of them — are triggering for you, you can always take a social media break or set some serious scroll-time limits for yourself. You can’t be jealous of what you don’t know.
Second, decide when you will — if possible — go on a vacation
Start planning it. Maybe it’s a year from now, maybe it’s in the wintertime, or maybe it’s a few years out. No matter when it will be, you can start budgeting, gathering ideas, and brainstorming with the kids and your partner.
Third, brainstorm with your kids and make some fun at-home summer plans that are within your family’s budget
It doesn’t take much to make kids happy if you can get creative. Invest in a new sprinkler or a mini pool and some outdoor gear (think balls, jump ropes, hula hoops, etc.). Sign up for a few fun, local camps, explore your local attractions, and by all means, utilize your local library. Don’t forget to set up some playdates.
Finally, if it’s affordable for your crew, plan a staycation — or what you consider to be one
Once a year, my family rents a house in nearby St. Louis for a few days. We explore local attractions such as the Arch and enjoy family-friendly restaurants. This is far more affordable for us than flying or driving several states away. Our kids absolutely love it.
We have to let go of the guilt of not giving our kids what we think everyone else has. The reality is that many families don’t go on big summer vacations, and instead, make the most of the everyday fun they can have at home or nearby. Neither option is better than the other — just different. If you build enthusiasm for what works for your family, it’ll rub off on your kiddos and you’ll still be creating a magical, memorable summer.
