I’m one of those people who finds clutter totally anxiety-producing. I have an anxiety disorder as it is, and when the house is in disarray, it literally makes my head spin. I can’t think straight. I get headaches. I feel like I want to jump out of my skin. Living in a sea of “stuff” makes me feel as though my life and my world is utter chaos.
This is one of the reasons my kids’ early years were so hard
I remember mornings where the house would be literally covered end to end in toys, snacks, clothes, diapers, and more toys. Little kids have a penchant for spilling entire baskets of toys onto the floor — it’s how they explore — and I see the value in that.
But little kids also aren’t great at cleaning up. And moms of little kids? They are tired AF. So it’s not always easy to keep our homes neat and clutter-free. For someone like me, this was a bad combination, and I found myself stressed and anxious very frequently about the state of my home. It didn’t help that we lived in a teeny-tiny apartment then, so there was often no place to even walk.
As comfort, I would often tell myself that I’d have a cleaner house once my kids got older
Well, my kids are quite a bit older now, 9 and 15, and I’m here to tell parents of messy younger kids the truth: It doesn’t get better as your kids get older.
Yeah, I no longer have to walk through a sea of Legos to get my morning coffee. But there’s still plenty of clutter to contend with: school papers/homework, lunch boxes, half-eaten snacks, clothes, gadgets, towels on the floor, and 10 zillion cell phone wires/chargers.
More of those messes are on surfaces such as tables and counters, but that’s not much better. Plus, if you looked in the bathroom and my kids’ rooms, you’d see heaps of dirty clothes and towels littering the floor.
So, yeah, it still stinks, and I still find myself super stressed about the state of my home
And while it’s true that you can get your kids to (sort of) pitch in more when they are older, most kids are disorganized slobs and need about a million reminders to clean up their stuff. Besides the stress of looking at a messy home, the stress of being the one to remind everyone to clean up their stuff also gives me endless agita.
The only saving grace is that as kids get older, they spend less time in common living spaces. So while their bedrooms might be total wrecks, the living room is more often spared. And I’ve grown to make peace with the fact that I can just have them close their bedroom doors so I can just pretend the clutter doesn’t exist. Honestly, it’s such a visual, visceral experience for me that closing the door really does help.
My kitchen counters are another story — it’s great that older kids can get their own snacks, but it would be awesome if they’d put the damn pretzel bag back in the pantry. I’m trying to teach my kids that when it comes to shared spaces, they have a responsibility to keep things neat. I have two sons, and there is no way I’m letting them leave the house without being conscientious about basic clean-up stuff.
I’m making headway, I think
And in a matter of just a few years, my sons will be all grown-up and out of the house. I can’t even think about them leaving home, because it makes my heart shatter into a million pieces, but at least I can console myself with the fact that when they leave, I will finally have a clutter-free house.
