Let’s face it, children don’t allow for an Instagram- or Pinterest-ready home at a moment’s notice. If it’s not the toys littered all over the floor, then the snack wrappers and socks found in the various nooks and crannies of my couch ruin the moment. Living among the clutter while the kids are playing with the items is doable. But the moment the kids are not at home during the day and once they are asleep is when I can see each and every toy or shoe that is not put away like it has a spotlight on it, and my anxiety ratchets up quickly.
I try to stick to a routine
I do my best to pick up throughout the house each night as part of my nighttime routine and that makes a big dent in the amount of clutter we tend to accumulate. I’ll go through the boys’ backpacks and sift through any paperwork or school work that we receive from the day. I bend down to pick up what I can before my back starts cramping up, and I do a quick sweep after cleaning the kitchen. Pairing that with a housecleaner whom we are fortunate to employ keeps our home from getting completely trashed, but there are days when I just cannot make any headway in keeping the house together.
The thing is, my kids live here, too
During the pandemic, I leaned into the idea that my kids live at our home and that means we all have our own idea of where things need to go, how items should be put away, and when it’s time to do a complete overhaul of our space. While I maintain agency to create rules and boundaries in regards to our possessions, I have been allowing my boys to weigh in on where their items should go. For example, my oldest has a dedicated drawer in his dresser now for his cars, and I’m OK with that.
However, this one space is mine
While my boys have free reign over 90% of our home, my main bedroom belongs to me! Of course, I let them come in and out freely, but their toys, their clothes, and their snacks all have to leave with them — and stay out.
I decided to keep this one space as my sanctuary for several reasons
During the pandemic, I found that I was losing myself in motherhood, something that happens far too easily and often. It’s a personal mission of mine not to lose myself again, and to hopefully prevent other mothers from finding themselves in this situation.
In my main bedroom, I keep it calm, clean, and clutter-free, and it suits me perfectly. I do my best to always have this room ready, so that when I’m turning in for the night after what often feels like the longest day ever, my bed is made and welcomes me in. My clothes and closet are tidy so that I can find what I need to help me look my best. I try to do my best DIY spa vibes in the bathroom so that my own bathroom is a personal refuge from the craziness of the day.
The habit of making this space special has paid big dividends and I’m holding on to it as best I can
From now on, I will always have at least one space that is ready and fully put together so that I can have this go-to feeling of calm, and I implore every mom to have a space like this. It could be a half bathroom, a room turned into a dressing room/closet, or maybe a “she shed” – whatever space you choose, make it your sanctuary. Trust me, you deserve it, especially after pouring yourself into others all day.
