My sister is expecting her first baby toward the beginning of the new year, and although she has been by my side for the birth of her nieces and nephews, I know that experiencing pregnancy and birth yourself is a whole new ball game.
Over the years, she has learned all sort of tips and tricks from me. She has watched me fall into a puddle of hormonal tears and seen me fall in love with particular products. She has worn my babies and helped research sugar-free first birthday treats — she knows a lot and is going to be an amazing mother. But there are a few things I want to remind her about, including some important tidbits, all of which took me far too many years to learn.
Read more about breastfeeding than birth
Whenever I see a round-up of pregnancy books, they always seem to be heavy on the birth aspect. It’s important, but in the scope of things, you’ll spend more hours breastfeeding. Read up on that so you can navigate all the bumps you may encounter. Familiarity helps it feel like less of a mystery.
Breast pump flanges are not one-size-fits-all
With regards to nursing, don’t bank on the flanges that come with your breast pump being the right size for you. You may need two sizes, one for each breast, or one size now and another later. Pump flange size is such a big player in comfort and output.
Take care of your pelvic floor right away
I didn’t hear about pelvic floor care until after my third baby. Honestly, a cryin’ shame. If your provider doesn’t see an issue but something doesn’t feel right, advocate for yourself and get the support you need early on. It will truly make all the difference in both your short- and long-term healing.
Baby girls don’t need dresses
I know, I know. They’re really cute. But they aren’t practical. Stick with cute rompers and sleepers for everything before 6 to 9 months. Dresses can make a comeback once they’re standing/walking.
Nutrition is everything
You can’t nourish your baby if you don’t properly nourish yourself. Eat nutrient-dense foods via quick snack plates, smoothies, soups (prep and freeze those beforehand), and takeout when you need it. Food is fuel, and the right food is healing.
Walking is the best exercise
Social media appears to know when it’s time to work on your mom bod. Don’t listen. Sign off. Be proud of what your body has done and just walk. Walk with your baby. Walk alone. Walk with friends. It’s good for your mind, body, and soul in this new season of life.
Remember, comparison is your enemy
Moms take all the good things we see our real and virtual friends do and turn them into one superhero woman who does it all. She doesn’t exist. Remember, comparison is your enemy. It will poison motherhood for you. Know that you are the best mama for your baby. Period. Be you, for them.
Your husband doesn’t understand
He loves you and he loves your baby, but he doesn’t get it. He never will. There is no real way to explain breastfeeding pain or the anxiety of making sure baby is breathing at night. Don’t be mad that he doesn’t understand. Let him fall into fatherhood on his own. It is his responsibility and privilege. We had a slow burn over nine months preparing, but it will take him time – months, years perhaps. Keep communicating and don’t expect him to magically get motherhood – that isn’t his journey.
Pick a hashtag
It may sound trivial, but pick a unique hashtag for your baby, and when you share pictures online, use it so you can easily search all of their sweetness over the years. Also, decide if you want to use their real name online or opt for a creative alias. Weird to think of it, but our baby’s digital footprint begins right away!
