In some ways, Jacqui McNeill, 29, has been a "mother" for as long as she can remember. The Ohio native lost her own mom when she was just 12 years old, and as the third of 11 children, she knew she had seven younger siblings at home who still needed to be cared for. So, without hesitation, she stepped right in to help.
In the years that followed, Jacqui channeled her grief into her Irish Catholic faith, and eventually became a nun once she graduated from high school. But as she recently told PEOPLE Magazine, the desire she felt to have a child of her own one day soon outweighed the one she felt to stay in the nunhood.
A few years later, she made the difficult decision to leave the religious order for good and become a behavioral therapist โย and looking back now, she doesn't regret a thing.
In 2017, Jacqui made the long trek from Ohio to India
At the time, she was inspired by the work of Mother Teresa, and devoted the next four months of her life to working at a foster home where she cared for young children with a variety of disabilities.
It was there that her life โย and her perspective โย changed forever.
"I didn't understand how anybody could look at these kids and see anything but beauty, vulnerability, and innocence," she told PEOPLE. "I would have brought them all back with me at 24 years old."
The truth is, Jacqui cared for all of the children she met there
But of course, she couldn't. Aside from being a single woman, who could only take on so many children at once, Indian law also prohibits anyone under 25 from legally adopting, which made her too young.
Finally, on April 27, 2018 โ the very day she turned 25 โ Jacqui filed the necessary paperwork and patiently waited to be approved.
From there, things didn't happen overnight
In fact, Jacqui spent more than two years patiently waiting to be matched with a child, as unexpected hurdles kept popping up along the way (including a worldwide pandemic). She also kept applying for numerous adoption grants, and getting denied, which made the daunting process of actually paying for an adoption seem insurmountable โย especially for a single woman in her twenties.
But eventually, Jacqui discovered HelpUsAdopt.org, which helped her raise $45,000 to cover various fees. And finally, in 2020, she got the call that she'd really been waiting for: She was matched with a little girl named Emilia.
"I remember opening her information and saw 'limb deficiency,'" Jacqui told PEOPLE. "Then I saw it was all four limbs."
Jacqui admits that her first reaction to the news was fear
But even so, she ever doubted her decision, telling the outlet, "I knew that she was mine" from that moment on.
As the ball got rolling, she became even more convinced it was fate that she'd become Emilia's mom.
"The first time I saw a picture of her face, I just wept," Jacqui shared. "I didn't know what her needs would be, but you go above and beyond and do what you have to do for your kid."
Emilia was born with something called Tetra-amelia syndrome
As Jacqui would later learn, the rare (and often fatal) condition is characterized by the absence of all four limbs and can also cause severe malformations of other parts of the body, including the face and head, heart, and nervous system.
In many cases, the lungs are also underdeveloped, which can make breathing difficult or even impossible. Sadly, many of these children are either stillborn or die shortly after birth, but in Emilia's case, she miraculously survived.
And, according to her mom, she's now thriving.
Before Jacqui brought her daughter home, she was braced for an uphill battle
Aside from Emilia's physical hurdles, the people who were caring for her at the time described the little girl's temperament as challenging.
"When I picked her up, they told me, 'Good luck. She's a grumpy child. She never smiles,'" Jacqui recalled.
But today, the devoted mom says that couldn't be further from the truth. Instead, she describes Emilia as a "joyful and happy" 4-year-old who is constantly challenging herself to learn new things.
And as for that "nonexistent" smile? It's now a permenant fixture on the little girl's face.
"She doesn't do anything but smile," her mother shared, "and she's had a lot to overcome."
She certainly has โ and, in many ways, still does.
So far, Emilia's been hospitalized 10 times and is constantly in and out of doctor's appointments
She also attends physical and occupational therapy multiple times a week, which keeps her (and her mom) quite busy.
That said, the progress she's made is undeniable.
The 4-year-old now attends regular preschool, and is determined to learn how to do things on her own, just like her peers. According to Jacqui, Emilia can now "scoot" up the stairs unassisted and drink juice on her own (even though she makes a "huge mess" doing it).
Much of Emilia's determined spirit was likely already within her, but her mom's love, support, and motivation has certainly been a game-changer.
"I tell her all the time that 'can't is not in our vocabulary,'" said Jacqui, of the positive, can-do attitude she tries to instill at home.
And so far, there's no doubt that it's working.
Jacqui continues to make Emilia's progress her main focus
She's even set up a GoFundMe campaign to help raise money so Emilia (or, as she now calls her, "Little Love") could get her first wheelchair.
"From the first moment I saw her face, my goal was to promote her independence and inclusion," Jacqui shared on the GoFundMe page. "Part of that is getting her access to all of the accessibility tools at our disposal. The most important one is her wheelchair! She will also have her speech device wired into it. How cool is technology?!"
(Very cool.)
Emilia and Jacqui's story is certainly heartwarming
But perhaps that's because it isn't just a story about a woman who saved a child by giving her a loving home. It's also the story of a child who rescued a woman still mourning the death of her own mom.
Now, nearly two decades later, Jacqui is able to clearly see just how much that early experience shaped her, leading her to where she is today.
"That loss, that pain, that suffering in a sense was a blessing for me," she told PEOPLE. "With this whole adoption journey, I've had the compassion in my heart and the knowledge of what ache is like for a mom. I didn't know what was missing until I got her. Now, life has beauty and purpose."
