Let’s see a quick show of hands. How many of us remember our mothers talking about hot flashes when we were younger? Or running to the freezer to stick their head in so they could cool down for a minute?
Or telling you to put on a sweatshirt because she had the AC set at a bone-chilling 64º and she was NOT about to turn it up despite the sound of your teeth chattering in the next room. Probably all of us remember it to some extent while simultaneously having NO IDEA wtf was going on.
Back in those days, we only knew that women in their 40s start going through a “change of life.”
We knew menopause was a thing, but perimenopause wasn’t even in most people’s vocabularies in those days. Well one mom in 2025 is making it her mission to make sure everyone knows what women in perimenopause are going through, and she quite literally DOES NOT CARE how you feel about it.
Meet Melani Sanders (@justbeingmelani). The 45-year-old mother-of-three who hails from West Palm Beach Florida is just your average, everyday woman who was sick and tired of wondering what the hell was wrong with her.
The lack of sleep. The brain fog.
The short fuse. The night sweats.
And yes, the hot flashes. All symptoms of women whose estrogen levels have begun to drop as their uteruses prepare to stop producing eggs.
On May 13th, after weeks of posting about her perimenopause symptoms, Melani took to social media to put it on blast once and for all, to raise awareness for women (and children, and men) of all ages by starting something she calls the We Do Not Care Club, or the WDNC.
In her first WDNC post, Melani listed just a couple things that she did not care about that morning after a trip to the store, namely her too-tight fitting bra and her choice to leave the house without doing her hair.
At the end of the video, the social media influencer asked her followers to share what THEY do not care about during their own perimenopause struggles.
The response was staggering.
Within days, Melani’s social media posts were flooded with comments, shares, millions of new followers, and unified praise from women of all ages.
With daily updates about new things perimenopausal women simply DO NOT CARE about, Melani has created a community and a sounding board for estrogen-depleted women everywhere.
One commenter wrote, “We do not care that it’s 11:00 am and we’re still in pajamas.”
Another added, “I do not care that I ate two protein bars for dinner and went to bed at 5:30pm last night.”
“I do not care that my dishes need to be put away. They will still be there tomorrow to deal with. But tonight, I do not care,” commented another follower.
One woman hilariously added, “Realized I had on 2 different shoes…half way through the work day. Did I care? Nope!”
One follower wrote, “I do not care that I have a 40+ waistline and didn’t even consider that I need to go back to gym.”
Even husbands have been chiming in! “The SECOND I watched this, I immediately forwarded it to my going-through-peri wife. Love it! 👍” Get this guy a medal!
In a video she posted days later, Melani explained her mission: “This is for normalcy. This is to understand that a lot of us out here are in the same boat, and we’re just trying to survive.”
She goes on to list more things perimenopausal don’t care about including unruly chin hair, having a dirty car, and paying extra delivery fees so we can avoid human contact.
Through Melani’s posts, she’s started a dialogue among women – one they’re encouraged to share with their families to raise awareness about what our minds, our bodies and our spirits are going through.
Most of us always thought menopause was the journey when in reality it’s the blessed destination women arrive at after years (YES, YEARS!) of perimenopause.
Turns out perimenopause has been the REAL b*tch all along.
