What to Know
Being honest about your struggles publicly is really hard, especially on social media. It’s hard to contend with all of the unsolicited opinions, vitriol, and negativity. But sometimes, people will push through for the greater good. Shae, a mom with ADHD, used her TikTok platform to share the reality of how taking a stimulant has changed the way she shows up for her family. As a Black mom who believes she also has ADHD, it was really helpful for me to see someone show the good and bad to managing life with the illness. Her video is an important way of breaking stigmas.
She hasn’t been taking medication for very long.
Shae admitted that she had only begun taking Adderall “about a month” before she filmed the video. According to the Mayo Clinic, Adderall is a combination of stimulants amphetamine and dextroamphetamine. They “increase attention and decrease restlessness in patients who are overactive, cannot concentrate, or are easily distracted.”
Since starting the medication, she said she didn’t notice much difference when she was taking the medication versus when she hadn’t been taking it. “My brain’s still firing on all cylinders, I’m still going 100 miles per minute — I don’t feel different,” she said.
She had never considered how her ADHD affected those close to her.
“Up until recently, I did not know the people around me were experiencing a different version of me,” she admitted.
After taking her medication for three weeks, the mom with ADHD told her husband that she planned to stop taking her medication. In her mind, she didn’t get the point of taking a stimulant if she didn’t feel any different. However, he had reservations.
He pointed out that she was more “pleasant” in the mornings, something she hadn’t noticed about herself.
@soapboxshae I avoided the stimulant route for a LONG time. I was scared and also felt like I could do life without it. I want to say I also recognize that some people cannot use stimulants. I see you and acknowledge your journey is different. #adhdinwomen #adhdtiktok #adhdtok #blackandadhd #adhdprofessional ♬ original sound – Shae Bay Bay
For multiple reasons, she was unmedicated for almost five days.
In a moment of transparency and vulnerability, Shae chose to show the difference between how she cares for her young son in the morning medicated versus unmedicated.
“I want to reiterate that I did not know that it was this stark of a difference,” she said, tears welling up. “And had I known that this version of me was showing up, I would have made a choice sooner.”
On the unmedicated day, the mom is still in her pajamas while getting her son ready for school. Her energy is low, she’s barely engaging with her son physically, and she talks in short, direct sentences.
On the flip side, when she is medicated, she is cheerful. She sings to her son, praising him as he gets himself ready, and is dressed and ready herself.
Commenters praised the mom with ADHD for being so open with her struggles.
It’s not easy to put yourself out there, showing a vast world of strangers something you may consider a flaw. But Shae did it bravely, and in doing so, helped other people. And commenters let her know what that meant to them.
“Chile let me call the people and get an appointment,” one commenter wrote.
“I first saw the video of that lady thanking you for saving her life. Now I’ve seen yours and understand why,” another added.
“Side note, when you say “the people closest to me” also remember to list your own self too,” a comment read.
Many comments also praised her husband for being honest with her. “Kudos to hubby for recognizing and reiterating. Great job, mummy!” someone wrote.
“Husband said AHT AHT! DONT GO MAKING NO CHANGES! 😅 👏🏽 kudos to you hun!! Keep up the good work!!” a commenter said.
