We have been through a whole lot over the past few years. And one thing we should all be over is the double standard of parenting. But the reality is still far from that – instead, even with so much extra on our plates with the pandemic and the world seemingly being in a state of constant chaos, moms are still expected to trudge along and carry the extra work without complaint, while dads are still expected to be the same as they ever were.
One mom has created a cartoon series that highlights these double standards
Mary Catherine Starr is an artist and mom of two who lives in Cape Cod, Massachusetts, and she’s behind the Instagram account @momlife_comics. Her illustrations are going viral — particularly a series entitled “An Illustrated Guide to the Double Standards of Parenting.”
It's exactly what it sounds like
The comic covers the ways in which dads and moms are treated differently when it comes to parenting — which is huge.
“This is not a dig at dads, it’s a dig at our society — a society that applauds dads for handling the most basic of parenting duties + expects nothing short of perfection from mothers (or even worse, shames them for every decision and/or move they make!),” Mary Catherine writes in the caption of her Instagram post.
“Dad taking his child to her pediatrician appointment? That’s so great!” she continued. “What a helpful, wonderful guy!! Mom doing it? Obviously; it’s her job (whether she works or not).”
Mary Catherine says she “could have drawn a million examples,” and she’s not wrong
The comparisons she highlights in her comics hit the nail on the head. In the first, dad walks through the front door holding a bag of fast food and he’s hailed as the “fun dad.” Mom does the same and she’s called “lazy mom.”
On the next slide, dad is taking his baby out for a walk in the stroller when he glances at his phone while strolling. For him to do this, he’s considered a “present dad,” but when mom is doing the exact same thing, she’s labeled “inattentive.”
Other everyday things mom and dads do in parenting are given different names
We know that moms are judged so much in parenting — stuck in a cycle where it’s impossible to please everyone and knowing they’ll be called out no matter what option they choose. We also know that dads dislike being referred to as “babysitting” when they’re the primary caregiver at any given moment, but luckily for them, they’re often described in more positive terms like “involved dad” as opposed to a mom’s “working mom” title.
When a mom takes her kid to the park to play, she’s just a basic “run-of-the-mill” mom. When dad does the same, he’s said to be “such a good dad.”
This narrative is everywhere, and it sucks — which is exactly why Mary Catherine wanted to highlight it
“I’m tired of our society applauding dads for handling the most basic of parenting duties and expecting perfection from mothers,” she said in an interview with Huffpost. “People have said lots of things to me that they would never say to my husband,” she continues.
Reading through the comments, parents shared more examples of this double standard playing out in social media and real life. This includes times when they’ve caught themselves thanking their partner for doing something like changing a diaper or “watching the kids” while they finish something up.
It’s exhausting to be a mom — even more so when we’re constantly juggling an impossible ask. And Mary Catherine’s comics going viral within 24 hours is even further proof of this.
