There are some universal parenting truths that always hold up, and one viral TikTok is reminding moms everywhere of one they HATE: Watching dads get praised for performing the same menial parenting tasks we do all the time.
Chloe Sexton — a mom, TikTok influencer, and the owner of Bluff Cakes in Memphis, Tennessee — called it the "daddy privilege," and she's pretty sick of it. In fact, Sexton sounded off about it while sharing what happened when her husband took their son on an errand last month that she typically does herself. Now, her insightful and hilarious commentary is making its way around the world — and resonating with millions of parents who feel her annoyance.
Chloe (AKA @chloebluffcakes) posted a video on TikTok
In it, the busy mom explains that she's the sole owner of a bakery business, which she manages to run by herself while also caring for her kiddo. Because her husband works a typical 9-5 job, he's usually not home during the day, which means she alone has to juggle everyday childcare and household chores with other business-related to-dos.
Often, this looks a lot like sprinting to and from stores with a child strapped to her body, while she repleneshes inventory or handles other administrative tasks.
(In other words: This mom gets things DONE.)
But does she expect to get praised for it by strangers on the street?
… Not exactly.
And yet, that's precisely what happens to her husband All. The. Time.
@chloebluffcakes It’s the daddy hero treatment for me
"I've got a fun little story for you about 'daddy privilege,'" Chloe says as she opens the video, while balancing her son on one hip.
But — spoiler alert — it's not really a "fun" story at all. In fact, it might just leave you kind of enraged.
You see, Chloe's bakery business requires her to buy fresh ingredients every week
So, she goes to a place called Restaurant Depot, where she purchases large quantities of things like flour, butter, and baking soda to make all of her delicious treats.
She's such a frequent customer that most of the employees know her by now. They've seen her come in "wearing" her baby while checking out 400 lbs. of flour or pushing her overstuffed cart through the aisles while "massively pregnant."
The weekly trek to Restaurant Depot is part of her normal routine. But when her husband recently offered to do it for her after taking the day off, she jumped at the chance for some free time.
So, off he went, with their baby in tow
Except, instead of simply making his way through the aisles unnoticed, or exchanging a brief "hello" and "goodbye" to the cashier … Chloe says it was as if a celebrity strolled into Restaurant Depot when her husband walked in.
"When I tell you that my husband was treated like a hero — a HERRRROOOOO," she stresses, as she leans into the camera. "Mind you, those same people see me there every single week!"
"I'm strapped up with a baby, or 7 months pregnant, hauling 100-lbs. bags of flour at a time in the back of my Subaru … Meanwhile, I'm getting a whole lot of [blank-faced stares]," she continues.
"Nothing to see here! Just a woman doing woman things — BUSTING her a–!"
In contrast, Chloe's husband got fawned over
"Oh my god, look at you!" one woman told him. "You work so hard!"
Another apparently strolled by and said, "OMG, that's a whole-a– baby!" (As if it was somehow impressive that he went shopping with his entire child.)
Basically, he got the star treatment — and it was so obvious, that even he couldn't ignore it.
But as Chloe so eloquently conveys at the end of her TikTok, all of this parenting "praise" kind of hits differently when it only seems to be given to fathers.
"He's not a hero," she says, while staring into the camera. "He's literally just a father, doing the same sh-t I do EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK."
In the comments, a lot of TikTokers agreed this happens way too much
“Greatness is expected of women but we are somehow never appreciated for it," lamented one person.
“The bar is literally on the ground for fathers,” said another. “It’s sad.”
Someone else simply commented with a quote they once heard that still rings true: “Mothers are obligated and fathers are privileged.”
Some moms also shared a few of their own stories of “daddy privilege."
“I went to go do my nails and they asked who was watching the kids,” wrote one woman. “I said dad/husband. And they’re like ‘That’s so nice of him!’ NO THAT’S HIS JOB.”
Even a few dads chimed in to confirm that all of this has been strangely true for them, too.
“It’s either hero treatment or ‘Oh, how cute, is Daddy babysitting today?'" wrote one dad. "NO! I’m just taking care of my child! That’s parenting."
The video has since been viewed over 1 million times
It's also landed her on several local news shows, where she's dug down deeper on the "imbalance of power" that still exists between women and men when it comes to parenthood.
@chloebluffcakes Thank you for having me! @newsnationam @News Nation
“Daddy privilege is something that, if you’re the father in the relationship, you’re going to step into without even trying," Chloe shared during an appearance on News Nation's Morning Show. "Every little thing you do that’s seen as a basic parental duty gains praise … if you make a meal for your family, it’s ‘What would they do without you? You run to the grocery store for something you don’t have and it’s, ‘What an amazing father!’"
"These are things that, in a straight marriage, the woman (obviously) is expected to do. Nobody looks twice."
But in recent years, partnerships have changed, notes Chloe — and with them, so have parenting roles. So why do we keep viewing each other through the same archaic lens?
@chloebluffcakes Reply to @meetmallorie oh boy. This has been fun. ##daddyprivilege
According to Chloe, not everyone has been on board with her statements. But she's done a good job of ignoring the haters.
“For every one person who disagrees and has ugly things to say about it, there are 10 mothers throwing their fists in the air saying, ‘OMG, I’ve been saying this all along, thank you!" Chloe told the Morning Show. "I listen to the 10."
