Lately I’ve been hearing so many praises being sung for the variety of parenting villages that have helped us survive the demands, limitations, and stress of quarantine. However, the “village” of my parents partnering with my hubby and me was established long before COVID-19 took center stage. No doubt this past year has called on them in new, more demanding ways than ever before, but they’ve played a vital role in helping me raise my babies since day one.
When I was newly married, my mom told me point-blank that she didn’t want to be simply childcare for her future fictional grandbabies. This wasn’t a selfish statement, but one that stemmed from the desire to sit back and love her grandkids as a doting grandma. She knew full well that being the regular caregiver would conflict with being the sweets-dealing, fun-loving grandma of her dreams.
Yet, a couple years later, as we sat my parents down to announce our surprise pregnancy, they didn’t skip a beat before saying, “Well, we hope you’ll let us take care of him! We couldn’t think of anything we’d love more.”
Ten years later, and my parents are still delivering daily care for my two children. While I know they love it and regret nothing, I know their decision to step up to help co-parent my babies has cost them in other ways.
The ways in which they help me are countless
I attempt to thank them in every Mother’s Day and Father’s Day card, or express my heartfelt appreciation as I pick up my kids at the end of the day, but it always falls short.
The list is too long.
The sentiment is too far-reaching.
How does one put the inexplicable into regular old words? I’m sure it cannot be done, but I will once again attempt an open letter of gratitude to my parents:
Dear Mom & Dad,
You have always been my lifeline. As a kid and throughout my younger years, I knew that you’d always have my back. You’d always bail me out. You’d always make it OK.
That is still true today.
I guess I thought as I became a parent I’d need you less, but I could not have been more wrong.
Having my own babies just made me need you all the more. This parenting thing is not for the faint of heart, and I’ve ended up needing you in more ways than I ever imagined.
As the daily caregivers when I go to work, you are our childcare facility, our homeschool facilitators, our playdate coordinators, our chauffeur to and from any place your charges need to go. You kiss the boo-boos, dole out the punishments, and offer the rewards.
I know that being such a major part of our lives has been a trade-off
You’ve spent the entirety of your retirement helping me raise my babies. And, while I know you wouldn’t have it any other way, it’s come with some great sacrifices.
Instead of sports cars and gardening tools, your garage is full of bikes, scooters, trampolines, and basketballs.
Instead of traveling to your heart’s content, you plan your infrequent excursions around my work schedule and the kids’ school calendar.
Instead of being a grandparent who spoils with sweets and treats and lets their grandkids get away with anything, you make healthy breakfasts and have to nag them to finish homework.
You are not the grandparents you thought you’d be
You are more.
You have given your entire selves to be our everything. You shower us with unconditional love and security. You are my kids’ second parents and their best friends.
They are blessed.
We all are.
While our life is crazy and scattered, it’s also pretty wonderful. And I could not do it without you.
Love,
Your eternally grateful daughter
