Many working moms are riddled by guilt for not spending every second of the day with their children. While normal, it's not healthy and totally unproductive. When was the last time feeling guilty really helped you be a better mom? Exactly. That’s why it’s time for you to make a change.
Trust me, I know it’s not easy. At times, I have spent too much time away from my family due to work. When my daughter was 2 years old, I even had to spend almost a week in Los Angeles every month because I got a TV show hosting job that was a dream come true in many ways. Well, to be honest, in many ways but one. It required being away from my kids. It was heart wrenching. My daughter would turn off the TV when my show would come on and say she hated it. Tapings moved to my hometown after a year, thank goodness.
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The good news is that there are many things you can do to manage your mami guilt. Here are a few tips:
Focus on what you are doing for your family and yourself. If you look at the big picture, the small things fall into place and it is easier to feel a sense of achievement rather than failure at trying to be everywhere at all times.
Set limits so when you are with your kids you are 100 percent with them. If you won’t be able to be 24/7 with your children, then make sure that during the time you are together, they have your full attention. That means limiting calls, not checking your email unless there is a true emergency.
Learn to ask for help. Many moms think they can do it all on their own. The scary part is that they may even succeed at it, but at a great personal cost. Find people you trust that can lend you a hand when you’re in a bind.
See if your kids are really showing signs of distress. If they are well adjusted, doing well at school and are not acting out, take a deep breath and save your energies for juggling all your responsibilities. If there are true signs that your family is suffering, it’s time to rethink your priorities and figure out what you can change before it becomes a major problem.
Remember that not because you can do it all, does it mean you should. Allow yourself to feel overwhelmed at times (hey, you’re only human!) but then realize you are not only providing for your family, but also setting an example of how we play many roles that contribute to society in different ways. Plus, if you’re doing the best you can, make peace with yourself. You’ll be happier and your kids will be, too.