Summer vacation is upon us… but for parents at home with young children, this two- to three-month break from school feels like anything but a “vacation.” I’m on Day 3 and have spent my days refereeing sibling arguments, asking my girls for forgiveness after absolutely losing it (again), and combating a public tantrum that probably prompted a few 911 calls as I dragged my screaming kid out of a restaurant.
For anyone else who may be feeling like your best efforts to make the most of this time with your beloveds turns into a daily stress fest, here are some collections of tried-and-true goodies that I wish I could wrap up into cute little survival kits and send to you!
“The Tantrum De-escalator" Survival Kit
If fiery tantrums and sibling squabbles are a common occurrence in your home, try a few of these:
1. Bubbles — to make you breathe, smile, and distract you back to calm.
Inspired by an old post by Drew Barrymore that I recently came across, I shoved a bottle of bubbles in my 6-year-old’s face as she was about to transform into a scrunchy-faced whiny monster… and it worked! Her first blows looked more like she was spitting out fire, but I calmly told her she needed to blow 12 times – and my sweet little girl was back! I may need to get a bottle of bubbles for myself…
2. A box of jokes and/or tricks — because you can solve more problems by getting silly than by getting angry.
We keep our box in the dining room, where many of our tantrums and squabbles occur. It contains a joke book, some magic tricks, and a pair of fake rotten teeth.
3. A code word or signal — to pull your kids out of their anger spells through fighting for the heart connection.
My husband and older daughter share a little signal that resembles a puppy begging for treats — no matter how tense the situation, if one party flashes the signal, the other has to drop everything and do it back. Cheesy, I know, but it works much better than yelling or threatening. I’ve seen my daughter reluctantly respond to her daddy’s signal mid-tantrum, and watched as both of them lowered their defenses, moved back into the rational parts of their brains, and reconnected hearts.
“The Practical Parent” Survival Kit
For the parent longing to feel more “on top of it”:
4. A daily and weekly schedule — to help you find your summertime rhythm.
Aside from the many developmental benefits to kids, maintaining a purposeful routine is beneficial to parents’ sanity, too. My rhythm has been mostly jerky and chaotic, probably because I wake up when the kids get up and spend the rest of the day rushing, yelling, apologizing, and just feeling forever behind. But in the past when I’ve sat down to block time for all the spinning plates in my head – husband, kids, family, friends, work/passion/home projects, laundry, grocery shopping, etc. – it has felt therapeutic in itself (and even better when I’ve actually followed it!).
I schedule things like family rest days, “me time,” and date nights, too. To start, here are some free schedule templates that are super versatile and user-friendly, and a sample daily schedule.
5. Mom Bucks to bribe — ahem, reward — your kids into listening to you. Life coach and mom of two, Karen Miller, uses Mom Bucks to continue the reward system used at her daughters’ school. They earn “bucks” by completing certain tasks or behaviors, then use them to purchase prizes. Whether motivating her kids to help with chores, be kind to each other, or to stop whining, these bucks provide an immediate reward (compared to a chart or marble jar), use positive rather than negative reinforcement, and empower kids with valuable life skills like problem-solving, money management, and taking initiative. “I’ve seen my 3-year-old pick up something and put it into the trash without my prompting!” Miller shared.
6. An emergency bag — so anything you might forget in your rush out the door is already sitting in the back of your car.
For me, this bag would include a trash bag, wipes, a blanket, extra clothes and diapers, snacks, water, a mini first-aid kit, hand sanitizer, sunscreen, bug spray, goggles… and shoes for my little one (yeah, we’ve left the house without shoes multiple times). You’ll also be prepared for all the gifts summer has to offer – unplanned adventures, unpredictable weather, and unpleasant potty disasters!
“A Touch of Whimsy” Survival Kit
For the mama needing a little more merriment and grace this summer:
7. A bottle of wine
“So you have something to put in your coffee cup!” says Stephanie Long, mom of two.
8. A cute, light summer outfit
Because what mama doesn’t feel peace when she’s feeling beautiful?
9. A “no” pass
To give yourself permission to say no, no matter how badly you don’t want to let people down, or want to be there for your friends, or fear missing out. Because if we say “yes” to everything, we’ll unintentionally say “no” to the things that matter most to us.
10. A feather duster
To dust the shame off you when you’re feeling guilty about not being able to do everything!
11. A fighting-for-joy song
Because singing can lift spirits and flip the atmosphere.
12. A kneeling pad
For all those times you’re going to need to get on your knees and apologize for the awful things you just said/did.
13. A reset button
Because sometimes you just need to start over.
14. A Moms’ Night Out
No explanation needed.
15. Confetti
To celebrate the victories, big and small!
