You know that saying, “Everyone is a perfect parent until they have kids?” Yep, that was me — and it was less than a year ago. Before my daughter was born, I had it all figured out, and it wasn’t just limited to the perfect parenting decisions I’d make for her, either. It had to do with me, too, and how I wanted the world to see me. I had this idea in my head that I never wanted to be seen as “just a mom,” heavy emphasis on the “just.” I was going to retain my identity, OK? And that extended to social media.
Since I wasn’t “just a mom,” my Instagram feed wouldn’t be filled with pictures of my baby. It’s not her Instagram, it’s mine. It’s about my life, and she’s just a part of it. That’s what I thought before she was here. Now that she’s in the world, things are much different…
Pre-baby, I like to think my Instagram feed was at least sort of interesting
It’s not like I have a lot of followers or anything, but I take a lot of joy in taking pretty photos of the places I’m going and the things I’m doing. My favorite hobbies are traveling, trying fun new foods and cocktails, and live music, so before kids, my feed was populated by pictures of Hawaiian beaches, fruity drinks, and my favorite artists onstage — not to mention the evidence of way too many child-free trips to Disney World — with photos of my husband and pets interspersed in between.
When I was pregnant, I tried not to overwhelm my feed with too many bump photos. After all, I didn’t want to be one of those pregnant people, annoying everyone who followed her with too many updates about what fruit or vegetable her baby was that week. Who wanted to see that?
When my baby arrived, I was very picky about the photos I posted
Like a lot of expectant moms, I had her social media birth announcement all planned out weeks before my daughter made her arrival: The swaddle and matching bow were neatly packed in my hospital bag, and so was the going-home outfit I’d agonized over, scrolling through page after page of cute onesies on Etsy.
In the hospital, I was too exhausted from my c-section to give much thought to Instagram, but I did get that first announcement photo out there just as I imagined. I tried to keep all of my photos of my baby to my Insta Stories — who wants to see nothing but baby pictures on their feed, right? Like I didn’t want to be one of those pregnant ladies who overshares her bump photos, I didn’t want to be one of those moms who posts too many baby pictures, either.
Once we were home, all bets were off
As soon as I was home with my baby and real mom mode kicked in, I quickly realized that — probably like every single mom who has ever lived — I had the most beautiful baby in the world, and everyone needed to see what she was doing RIGHT. NOW. Surely, my daughter was the exception — how could anyone be annoyed by pictures of this precious baby, who was clearly the most gorgeous being to have ever appeared on this planet?
Every yawn, every tiny sneeze, every time I got her dressed in the new outfits I’d bought her called for an Instagram post, and I stopped caring what people might think about that.
My Instagram is basically my baby's Instagram now
Scrolling through my feed now, I barely make an appearance. Sure, I show up in the photos with my kid from time to time, but it’s mostly just her — my baby with the dog, my baby posing for her milestone photos each month, my baby in her Halloween costume, my baby because it’s Tuesday and she’s my daughter and I think the sun sets and rises with her (and on her sleep schedule, it pretty much does).
But if social media is supposed to reflect your life, mine is still meeting that goal. Right now, my life is my daughter, and even though I thought there was something wrong with that before I was a parent, I know now that there isn’t. She’s five months old, and she needs me right now — and to be honest, I need her, too.
And let’s be real: With the current state of the world, there’s not much else to do but hang out at home with the ones we love.
My fun hobbies will come back, and with them will come the photos of the wine tastings, the late nights at concerts, and me, posing somewhere alone, wearing makeup and real pants.
One day, when we’re both a little less clingy, we’ll spend more time apart
I’ll be able to go out with friends and to have date nights with my husband and to document that version of “me.” And I’ll be glad to bring my daughter along for some of those adventures, too.
As much as we believe social media is for our followers, it’s mostly for us — a snapshot of what our lives look like in the moment. Right now, my life looks like a happy, drooly, five month old baby, and I couldn’t care less if anyone who’s just scrolling by doesn’t want to see it.
