I have three teenagers and they all have assigned chores that need to be completed every few days. My daughter folds the laundry, my youngest son is in charge of all trash-related responsibilities, and my oldest mows the lawn in the summer and snowblows the driveway in the winter.
They also all pitch in with the laundry, clean their bathrooms, and are completely on their own when it comes to caring for their two ducks. But things don’t always run smoothly around here. My teens are very teenager-y and forget, procrastinate, and sometimes just don’t feel like doing their chores. However, I can honestly say for the most part that they do what needs to be done in a timely fashion and have realized it’s a lot easier on the entire family if their chores get done.
They don’t get paid for their chores, but we did come up with these responsibilities when they got their cell phones with the understanding that if they stopped doing them, they wouldn’t have phone privileges. I also make sure I treat them if they do something big to help. For example, this fall my youngest helped me cut down and clear out a bunch of trees. It took several hours, and he was a huge help, so I told him to pick something out and that I’d treat him as a thank you.
Regardless of the task, I always thank them when they are done. It’s something I have done since they were younger and started doing chores. I think it’s really important, even though these are things they need to complete often and have a cell phone as a reward.
Everyone wants to be seen and heard. We all want to be appreciated for helping out and for the work that we do. Our kids aren’t any different, and I want them to know how much I value their help.
I can honestly say I think it’s the biggest factor in their consistency, and I think it does raise their spirits a bit to be recognized.
Of course, they hate taking the time to do their chores, and I know there are so many other things they’d rather be doing. When I was a teenager, I think I hated doing jobs around the house even more than I do now, so I remember how it felt to want to hang out with my friends or talk on the phone but having to do chores first.
It has also made them more aware of other people when they do something nice. I never have to remind my kids to say thank you, whether it’s to a relative who has done something for them or a stranger who has held open the door for them. They also thank me every time I make a meal or take them out. It truly warms my heart.
Thanking our kids is such a tiny gesture that can have huge rewards. Even though my daughter mutters something that vaguely resembles the word “welcome” after I thank her for doing the laundry, my son says “yup” after I thank him for mowing the lawn, and my youngest can only muster up a fart noise (his latest habit) when I tell him how I appreciate him for taking out the trash, I know they hear me.
