Thought-Provoking Questions to Ask Your Teen at Dinner

Have you ever been to a terrible dinner party? One where the conversation is nonexistent and the guests are looking down nervously, wishing they were somewhere else? That’s what it can be like having dinner with teenagers.

Finding dinner table topics that will get your teen son or daughter to open up to you can be difficult for some families. These teenage silences can make the lovely dinner you’ve prepared (or taken out of the to-go containers) unbearable.

How do you start a conversation over the dinner table?

I asked Dr. Ashok Shimoji-Krishnan, the children’s mental health lead for Kaiser Permanente’s Washington region, how to start a conversation. He said not to ask direct questions that can result in a yes or no answer, like my go-to conversation starter: “How was your day?” My 14-year-old son has started answering “no” — because apparently “fine” doesn’t shut down the conversation enough.

To get them talking, find out what your teen is interested in and ask questions about it. “They do like to talk about themselves and they do like an audience,” he told Mom.com.

Los Angeles mom Jeannine Chanin Penn said she tries to listen to her teenage son’s music and watch his favorite shows — even if it’s not her cup of tea — so she can ask him thoughtful questions.

“It’s kind of like when you played with action figures or spend hours doing legos, but the NOW version,” she said.

To get the dinnertime conversation rolling, we’ve compiled some questions to help break the awkward silence and it’s broken down by topic.

What are some thought-provoking questions to ask your teen at dinner?

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School

1. What was a really good part of your day?
2. What are you looking forward to this week?
3. Which of your teachers do you relate to the most or is the most interesting? If you could study one thing in school, what would it be?
4. What does your school not have that you wish it did?
5. What is your favorite book you read so far in school?
6. What book do you think every teenager should read?

Family

1. What’s your favorite thing about our family?
2. Tell us about your dream family vacation.
3. If we could move anywhere in the world, where would it be?
4. What would you rather have as a family pet: a tiger or a jellyfish?
5. What is one topic you never want to talk about as a family, and why?
6. What is your favorite memory of being a little kid?

Pop culture

1. What is your favorite show/movie/YouTube series right now?
2. Is Baby Yoda related at all to old-timey Muppet Yoda?
3. What are your feelings about TikTok? (Should I get an account? How can I follow you?)
4. What music are you listening to that you think I would be into?
5. If you could listen to one artist/show/movie, what would it be?
6. Which celebrity would you most want to have over to our place for dinner?
7. What is your favorite app and why?
8. What public figure do you most admire?

General

1. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
2. What do you think is the biggest problem facing young people today?
3. How can you make an impact on the world as a teenager?
4. What issue do you wish more people were talking about?
5. Who do you admire most in the world?
6. What is your biggest regret so far in your life?
7. What was the last thing you did that you were really proud of?
8. Whare are you most looking forward to this weekend?
9. If you could drop everything and spend 24 hours in one city, where would you go?
10. If money were no object, what is the one thing you would love to have?

And, for when you just can’t get them to talk to you …


1. Do you have any dirt on any of your friend’s moms? Or dads? (Don’t want to be sexist.)
2. What is it like to vape? (Can substitute heroin, meth, etc.)
3. The first time you had sex was …
4. Who is your favorite member of our family, including extended family? (It’s me, right?)
5. How badly do you want to leave this table?