
I was jealous of my 3-year-old. I watched him run from classmate to classmate in our Mommy and Me setup waving and casually starting up convos about Paw Patrol. I listened to him use his words while I couldn’t seem to find mine.
Growing up shy, I marvel at those who find social situations a breeze
Mommy and Me classes, school carpool, and playdates are all dates my shy personality will happily avoid. After I became a mom, I discovered small talk is a prerequisite for these events and small talk doesn’t feel very small to this shy mama.
Sometimes I wonder if parenting my son from a place of shyness does him a disservice
I mean, I might be known to sit longer alone on a playground bench before engaging in parenting banter or skip those skippable school meetings altogether.
So far I haven’t outgrown being shy, but after a lifetime of learning how my shyness influences my life, I do know how to come prepared to the social party.
Here are 7 instances that this shy mom finds the most challenging as a parent:
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Playdates feel never-ending: Playdates are a great way for my son to work on his social skills — too bad it’s his mom’s awkward abilities that need the most help. Trying to think up ways to keep the conversation flowing during group playtime for a shy mom can make even the shortest of playdates feel epic.
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Making a new mom friend is difficult: Shy moms would love nothing more than to be able to easily make friends. Mom BFFs rule and can share and support during all those parenting ups and downs. But with the brain freeze that kicks in, making new friends can be hard. My quiet nature keeps my conversational skills on the lighter side so talking to new people finds me stumbling for ways to open an authentic and interesting exchange.
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Moms groups are scary: It’s not the moms in the group that are scary (well, some are) but the groups themselves. Much better one-on-one, I find talking in crowds as scary as watching Caillou. This is due to the public speaking and the pressure to keep the conversation flowing. With 20 sets of eyes on me chatting in that mom carpool group, I fight against my timid nature trying to appear oh, so casual when talking all the words.
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I stay longer in the car at carpool: Remaining alone longer in the safety of my car allows less time for #3 to happen.
I hope people aren’t quick to judge me
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I wonder what people think: Since I can't just hand out personality cards that say "I'm Shy,” I hope parents understand my quiet nature without judgment. Shy mom aren’t aloof or snobby and I’m still that same little girl who used to ask her younger sister to order for her at restaurants.
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Don't need to wear blush at PTA meetings: I can dread for days any group meeting that I must attend. Talking about weather fluctuations and Paw Patrol can only take me so far conversationally. This level of awkward chit-chatting leaves my cheeks permanently flushed. The good news is I don’t have to spend much money restocking my make-up bag.
The extroverted grass always looks so much greener
- I wish this was all easier. Watching people converse with the greatest of ease continually makes me wish I understood how they did it. Over the years, though, I've come to appreciate my quietness because not only do I never talk through movies, but I wouldn't be me without it.
My shy temperament can certainly make simple gatherings feel a little more daunting and complex. Becoming a parent has pulled me into more social situations than I would ever choose, but I’m learning how to find more of my words and hoping others that I speak with use a lot more of theirs.