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If you walk through your local store, it’s obvious that it’s back-to-school season. The stores are filled with school supply sales and aisles of gear to make the school year a success. There’s just one thing missing: a full understanding of what to expect when school starts back up again thanks to the still ongoing pandemic. When you don’t know what to expect, it’s hard to prepare your kids mentally and emotionally for the challenges of the new year.
Take the time to find out as much as you can about what school will look like for your child this year and then listen to their fears. From there, you’ll want to help them find a success story from their past as you talk to them about going back to school this year.
Get as much information as you can first, before having the conversation with your child
Every state, county and school district is different and are assessing COVID-19 risk on their own. Guidelines have been constnatly shifting depending on where you live, so pay attention to those school district emails.
Of course, these are guidelines that may be adjusted depending on the risk and may change from week to week this upcoming fall. Some students might even still be experiencing virtual or distance learning. Students — and parents — will have to learn to be flexible. This is why it is paramount that you contact your school and teachers now to ask questions and see what it plans on doing with classes. Arm yourself with as much information of what can be expected if kids do return, so that you can answer your child’s questions honestly and as accurately as possible.
Make sure to listen to their fears and expectations
Sharing an activity — such as shopping for school supplies online or browsing for new books — is a great way to open up the conversation about any fears or anxieties your child may have about returning to school. Ask them open-ended questions such as, “What parts of the new school year excite you and what parts scare you?” Then listen. Don’t impart your fears or anxieties to your child. This is already tough for most kids who may be still be struggling with socializing and have a newfound fear of getting sick.
Every child is different and you may want to have individual conversations with each child if you have more than one. This ensures that everyone gets their own time to express what is on their mind. Whatever their concern is, listen to it and validate it so that they know you are listening.
Janet Aravelo, mom of two elementary school-aged kids, stuck to a famliar back-to-school routine to help ease her kids' anxieties. “It looks like we’re still planning virtual classrooms. But I still bought my children the backpack and school supplies they wanted," she told Mom.com. "I want them to be excited about learning wherever that takes place.” It’s true; making your kids as comfortable as possible in any situation will only improve their learning.
Remind them of how they overcame challenges before
After listening to their concerns, you will want to help them develop the confidence to tackle an unknown scenario. Chances are they have overcome a challenging period before. Reminding them of that story is one way to help them tap into that feeling.
“One way to help give kids confidence about new ways of doing things is to remind them of stories from their own lives when they were able to make a change to something new," licensed family therapist Raffi Bilek suggested to Mom.com.
"Don't just give the moral of the story — tell the whole thing over to them," Bilek said. He said your conversation may go something like this: "Remember the time we moved to a new house? We were all a little bit nervous about what that would be like! And we packed up everything in those big brown boxes? You helped put the books away." Bilek said, "Give details, images — make it a story and not a lesson.”
By making it a story, you help your child revisit some of the scary components and realize that they were capable of meeting and beating the challenge.
