Should You Announce Your Kid's College Plans on Social Media?

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My daughter’s senior year in high school was the most stressful of my parenting life, and it all centered around that big next step: COLLEGE. Where should she apply? How many schools should she apply to? Will she get her application in on time? How are those test scores? Will she get in? How are we going to pay for it?

And if I was feeling stressed, you can imagine how my kid was feeling.

Of course, she had an army of friends and peers who were all in the same boat — plus teachers and counselors who offered valuable advice and support. And I had … social media.

Love it or hate it, social media is one of the most popular ways we moms communicate with each other. With friends scattered throughout the country, with some of us in the workplace and others at home, there is no more efficient way of disseminating news among our peers.

These platforms are still new and evolving: Facebook and Twitter were both rolled out to the public in 2006, when today’s high school seniors were in kindergarten. Instagram was launched in 2010. And Snapchat’s first appearance occurred in 2012. Thanks to smartphones (2007), we are able to access these technologies whenever and wherever we want.

As a first-generation user, I was guilty of doing it all.

Why bother with carrying thick plastic photo inserts in your wallet when you can just upload that cute shot of your kid’s face smeared with chocolate or a video of him at karate class? Is your 3-year-old a picky eater? A shout-out to your friends will result in a flood of advice on strategies to get some healthy food into her.

But a funny thing happens when our kids get older and become aware of what mom is doing online. They may not like those photos or anecdotes that we think are so cute. So, we learn to walk the line on our social media activities by posting public material that is about US and not about our families (unless our family members say it’s OK).

We post anniversary photos, announce job changes, ask for comfort when we have surgery — and lots and lots of memes. For most of us, anything more personal than that is best taken private.

But what if your problem is your anxiety over your son’s college journey? Or if your big announcement is the scholarship just awarded to your daughter? Is it OK to share that news with your friends online?

“Let the kid take the lead on how they want you to answer questions and share news “ Colorado mom Julie Marsh told Mom.com

Christine O’Sullivan of New York agrees: “It depends on the kid. I left it up to him to tell people because I’m not on Facebook. I think parental pride is great, but I usually check with him before I put stuff out there.”

Kelly Phillips Erb is raising three teens between the ages of 13 and 17 in Pennsylvania. “I try to think about what parts of my kids' stories are mine to tell versus theirs, when it comes to social,” she told Mom.com.

The 17-year-old is a senior, so Erb is dealing with this issue right now. “I've posted about my reaction to my daughter's plans, but I have not shared the details, including acceptances and scholarships. That's her story," she said. "To clarify, I talk about the process a lot on social (mostly Facebook), but not the details. And you'll see that I share stuff but (outside of funny stories about things they say), it's often already public or something they've said. Like Kate's hockey honors.”

Think before you post

Marsh is working on her certification as a professional college consultant, but with a high school senior of her own, she is not immune to the pressures of making these decisions. For one thing, some of the schools her daughter applied to have rolling admissions, so it may be a while before they know where she’ll end up. “Many people don't realize this difference exists between schools,” she said.

Marsh told Mom.com that there are plenty of other reasons to keep mum about college plans on social media. “Even if your kid has an early decision acceptance from Harvard and you have a 529 to cover full freight, consider how the people in your social circles will feel if you crow too loudly,” she cautioned. “Some of them got denied or deferred. Some of them have to wait for financial aid packages. Some of them have kids who are enlisting or going to community college or starting an apprenticeship. Some of them have special needs kids who will never go to college. It pays to be sensitive.”