How To Explain Good Friday and Easter to Kids

“What does Good Friday have to do with Easter, Mommy?” she asked. My older daughter did the talking while my youngest stood beside her with wide eyes.

Getting this question as a Sunday School teacher is one thing (I can handle that), but when your own child asks it, you quickly think “Whoa” and do a mind-scramble for how to best explain the true meanings of Good Friday and Easter (e.g., separate from the Easter Bunny) to your own growing kids.

First rule? Don’t panic.

Last year, I found myself dealing with finally explaining complex stories and lessons about belief, betrayal, and the conquering of death (yikes) to my own kids. Although my pre-K and kindergarten Sunday School students were too small to really understand everything that went down on that very first Good Friday a couple thousand years ago, my own daughters were suddenly old enough to learn about our beloved Holy Week leading up to Easter.

So, they asked. They asked about it ALL.

But how do I approach very grown-up, painful events that shaped everything we believe? Jesus being beaten, dragging his own cross up the mountain, a most brutal death, and the world-changing reason (He Is Risen!) can be a lot to absorb for 7- and 8-year-olds.

I thought fast. (My faith has grown stronger since becoming a mom, so there’s that.) Everything came out in what felt like an age-appropriate jumble and aligned with what we’ve already learned in church. “Good Friday is the day Jesus died on a cross, so all of us who believe in Him can live forever.”

Her response? “Oh. Ok.”

Since our brief and spontaneous convo, I’ve come up with a few more organized thoughts for talking about this most poignant week with our little ones in ways they can better understand — ways that start with explaining the meaning according to our Christian faith, rather than include all the gory circumstances leading up to Easter morning:

Keep it simple

Consider your child’s age, maturity, and which details they might be able to handle. Like I said, it is pointless to scare small kids about the physical pain of crucifixion if they’re not developmentally ready to understand it.

Each year, add more

Discuss more details about Holy Week, Good Friday, and the Resurrection as kids grow. For kids in preschool, start with, “Jesus died so we can live forever in heaven,” whereas middle schoolers and high schoolers can examine the events of the week in the Bible (Judas’ betrayal, Last Supper, the torturous carrying of the cross, the empty tomb, etc).

Don’t be afraid of the word ‘death,’ but don’t overdo it

Death is a part of life. Although Jesus dying on the cross was a dramatic and life-changing act (for all of us), use the word as undramatically as possible — just to minimize any fear of what small kiddos might associate with it. Jesus’ death (Good Friday) led to everlasting life for all of us (Easter).

I now look to offer calls of action during Holy Week, Good Friday, and Easter in a few different ways:

Forgive others

On Good Friday, God gave all of our sins to Jesus, His only son, so our sins would be forgiven forever. Good Friday is a day to remember how powerful forgiving someone is — a friend, an enemy, anyone who has wronged you. (This is perhaps the biggest part of the season leading up to Easter.)

Find security in our beliefs

There were a lot of people who didn’t believe Jesus was the son of God — that’s why they crucified him. The days leading up to Easter are special, and they help us remember that we will always be challenged and tested, just as so many were back then. (These days especially.)

3. Being thoughtful is powerful

A friend of mine likes to dim the lights and turn all sound off between 12 p.m. and 3 p.m. on Good Friday, in honor of the hours when Jesus died on the cross. Kids can have quiet time — reading, drawing, or building Legos — to learn that Good Friday is meant to be a somber period. Consider attending a Good Friday service to show kids the difference in mood compared with the celebration of Easter Sunday.

It is OK to feel sad, but there is always hope

Life gives us very difficult times — feeling sad about them is not wrong or shameful. Just as Jesus had to stay strong to fulfill God’s will for a greater good, we will sometimes be required to go through things that are awful. Remembering how God’s power will always bring us comfort and light reminds us that suffering does not last forever.

Real love is beyond what we can sometimes understand

God’s love for us was, and still is, selfless. Mary’s love for Jesus (as his mother) was selfless. Jesus’ love for us is selfless. We can show others how much we love them too — our friends, neighbors and family. The more we show love to others, the more we honor what Jesus did for our lives on this Earth.

Easter was the Resurrection for Jesus, and can also be viewed as renewal for our own intentions here on Earth.

Because without strife, struggle, belief and conviction for doing what was good for mankind, Easter would not have been possible. Without darkness, light is not possible. And that’s what I continue to tell my kids.