Family Activities With Preteens

As your preteen begins to explore her freedom and social life, family time may not be as important or appealing to her as it used to be when she was younger. But just because your preteen is growing up doesn't mean you have to sacrifice time with her. "Take the time to get to know your preteen, find out her likes and dislikes and listen to her," says Erica Ives, California-based family therapist. By tuning into her interests, you may soon find she actually wants to spend time with her loved ones and is willing to dive into family activities.

Music is typically a priority for preteens. Swap out each other's earbuds and take interest in their music preferences, recommends Ives. Share playlists with one another or download songs to learn more about each family member's musical taste. "Show your preteen that you are interested. … Show that you are engaging, even if they display resistance," says Ives.

Tune into what entertains and excites your preteen by surfing online together. Ask your child to show you some of her favorite web sites, videos and even photos of friends. Keep an open mind and remember that your preteen is exploring her likes and dislikes and these may differ vastly from yours. "Let them know that this is not to judge them but instead understand them," says Ives. "Do your best to not allow your own frustrations or feelings of rejection to cause you to withdraw or become disengaged."

Reminisce with your child by breaking out family photo albums and videos. Show your preteen her first steps, first words and family outings from the past. This is an opportunity to reflect on memories and identify distant relatives. Imagine your preteen's reaction when you show her your wedding video — be prepared for some giggles.

Although preteens may sigh and moan at the mention of household chores, spice up their attitude by cooking a meal together. Ask your preteen for his suggestions and then shop together for ingredients and share the meal preparation tasks. Allowing your preteen more responsibility when providing food for the family not only enhances your family bond, but also his confidence as a contributing member of the household.

Spark each family member's creativity with a trip to a local pottery, art or clay cafe, suggests Ives. Your preteen can paint, draw or sculpt a craft of her choice while showing off her artistic side. "It's an opportunity to share ideas, praise each other's successes and have light conversation," says Ives.

Take arts and crafts to a whole new level by creating a family mural. Simply purchase a large drawing board from an art supply store and allow each family member space to add his or her creative touch to the mural, recommends Dr. Fran Walfish, California-based psychotherapist and author of "The Self-Aware Parent." Drawing allows your preteen to express himself. "The way to overcome resistances and conflicts are for parents to create open pathways of communication with their preteens," says Walfish.

Share some quality time and some beauty secrets with your preteen. Lather on beauty masks together or spruce up those nails and toes with some color. "Get a manicure and pedicure together," says Ives. "If you can't afford to go out to get one, then give each other a manicure and pedicure at home."

If a day of shopping is not in your budget, mix and match clothes at home for an impromptu fashion show. See if dad's ugly sweater will fare well with your preteen's skinny jeans or break out one of mom's cocktail dresses for your tween to try on. "Do a little fashion show and have some fun together," suggests Ives.