What to Know
In what world do we allow the creepiest relatives to come to our homes, with children present, and simply give our kids protocol to get through the visit? The last time I checked, this wasn’t the 80’s, when you had to endure creepy Uncle Eddy’s too-tight hugs and deal with other male relatives spouting off about how much you might have to fight the boys off with a stick.
One dad on TikTok by the name of Brian says as much in his video, where he explains that if there are creepy relatives in your family, um, just don’t invite them.
Wild concept, right?
There is no conceivable reason why your children, whether they are young kids or well into their teen years, have to adapt to having visitors who are known as the creepy relatives. So, Brian says, just don’t invite those people over. It might seem like an obvious solution.
But apparently, there are still families that readily tell their daughters to “cover up” or avoid certain relatives, especially during the holiday season. I can’t be the only one feeling physically ill right now at the thought of that.
@brianlamarstokes With the holidays coming up, “tradition” can start to feel like a trap. Did you know that around 90% of child sexual abuse is committed by someone the child knows and trusts? About 30% of abusers are family members. When we let “family” in because of tradition — without question — sometimes we pass down trauma instead of love. This season, let’s choose protection over posture. Speak up. Ask questions. Protect the kids. #P#ProtectOurKidsB#BreakTheCycleF#FamilySafetyH#HolidayAwarenessT#TraumaInformed ♬ original sound – Brian | Therapist But Chill
According to the dad, “tradition” can actually become problematic for kids.
Brian, who is also a therapist, starts his TikTok off by singing his original song about not inviting relatives over whose behavior is so creepy that your daughters have to change their clothes before they come over. Brian sings that relatives like this “should be in jail or Hell” and that, with it being 2025, parents have the responsibility to break cycles of this sort of behavior and stop catering to these types of adults in the family.
It’s easy to joke about hypothetical creepy uncles from way back when, but the reality is that some families still allow these types of people around, but believe they are doing the right thing by “warning” their kids ahead of time. It’s gross. It’s the very opposite of breaking the cycle. And it is how you continue generational trauma.
Am I the only one who is very much not into the latter?
In Brian’s caption of his video he wrote that the idea of tradition, in this form, “can start to feel like a trap.” Just because this is the way your family does things or has done things for years, it doesn’t mean you are bound to continue with it. Like Taco Bell once said, think outside the bun. Or, you know, the box. Whatever. You get the point.
“Did you know that around 90 percent of child sexual abuse is committed by someone the child knows and trusts?” Brian wrote in the caption, “About 30 percent of abusers are family members. When we let ‘family’ in because of tradition — without question — sometimes we pass down trauma instead of love. This season, let’s choose protection over posture. Speak up. Ask questions. Protect the kids.”
Some parents commented on Brian’s TikTok to share how much they agree with him.
Others wrote that they grew up in families where they also had to change their clothes so a creepy uncle wouldn’t look at them in an uncomfortable and inappropriate way.
However, one user pointed out, “Wait until they find out that it doesn’t matter what they’re wearing, a predator is going to be a predator.”
Someone else wrote, “People keep saying, ‘why [do] people get away with this?’ It’s because we don’t shun people who do it. And it starts with being shunned by the family. Ask me how I know.”
Other people commended Brian for his vocals at making up a song that’s not only catchy, but melodic. Seriously, can I get this as a ringtone, or…?
“I would like to add this to all Christmas music playlists from now on,” someone wrote under the TikTok. “For real!”
