I found out I was pregnant with Baby #2 less than a month after my daughter turned two. I knew in the next nine months not only did we need to transition her to her "big girl" bed, but we also had to get her potty-trained. I was excited to hit those milestones, but at the same time it was extremely daunting to think about. But after months of hard work and patience, she was officially potty-trained and in her big kid bed – and we were ready to meet our son!
As a former preschool teacher, I knew to expect a potty regression when our son was born. I thought she would probably deal with a small regression, but I assumed it wouldn’t set back her progress very much. And we took every step we could to help her.
We made sure to set up a routine for her so that we could help her feel as normal as she could when we got home from the hospital. We signed her up for school (just two half-days) so she could have a break from our home and could get some time to socialize with other kids. We also spoke with her over and over again about what life would be like after her brother came home.
Then, just three months after she was potty-trained, everything changed for us
I gave birth to our precious boy and just a day later, everything shut down due to the pandemic — including her preschool — and we were all stuck quarantined at home together.
Quarantine was rough for my husband and I, but it was extremely difficult for our daughter. We dealt with behavior issues, a sleep regression and a potty regression all at once – while dealing with a colicky newborn in the midst of a pandemic.
I was at a loss and felt like I was hitting a breaking point
I was already so frustrated over the pandemic, and now I was overwhelmed by everything that was on my plate: I wasn’t sleeping, I was dealing with a non-stop crying baby, I was stuck at home with no adult interaction other than when I talked with my husband after he got home for work, I was constantly doing chores in my “free time”, and on top of all that, I was cleaning up after my toddler’s accidents.
I couldn’t understand how she could switch from being so good at going potty on the toilet, to all of a sudden having multiple accidents a day.
I didn’t know what to do so I reached out to a few friends, and I was shocked to find out that so many others were dealing with similar issues. I was glad to know we weren’t alone on this, but we didn’t get much advice on how to tackle this issue, so it was up to my husband and I to devise a plan.
We knew that we needed to battle this as a team with our daughter
We had to constantly remind ourselves that she was navigating a lot of changes and she needed us to be patient and understanding with her.
We then approached it as if we were restarting our potty training journey and we implemented tools to help encourage and remind her to go to the bathroom: we bought treats and toys as rewards, set timers as reminders, and tried to give lots of love and encouragement.
By no means were we perfect, and we did have many moments where we lost our cool and needed to take breaks to refresh ourselves, but we tried our best and that was all we could do.
Eventually, the regression ended but it was definitely not an overnight thing
And to be honest, we still deal with the occasional accident when she's dealing with big emotions and shifts in her life. But we have to remind ourselves constantly that she is still so young and just learning how to navigate life – and sometimes little kids deal with things like this.
I wanted to share our story because I want to shed light on the fact that regressions are normal and sometimes unavoidable. Remember that if your child is dealing with something similar, it's not your fault. Make sure to give your child and yourself lots and lots of grace. And like most things, this, too, shall pass.
