Potty-Training 101

Your little one may not quite be ready to settle in on that little throne, but talking about basic potty-related concepts early helps a toddler get in the right mindset to train. “I recommend once kids start to walk, simply having a child toddle in with you to the bathroom as you explain that poop goes in the potty, how to flush the toilet, things like that," says Dr. Laura Jana, author of It’s You and Me Against the Pee…. "The more active effort can start 18 to 24 months, but sometimes later if children are not showing signs of readiness.”

Take cues from your tot: She’ll let you know when she’s ready to start learning. Some signs to look for: She’s able to walk and pull her pants off, and she shows signs of awareness when she needs to go. “This tends to be around the time when your child understands and follows simple commands, and shows more interest in copying others’ behaviors, and starts using words to express himself better,” says Jana.

A good first step toward introducing your child to the potty? Reduce the intimidation factor. “Make your bathroom kid-friendly,” says Jana. “Make it a warm, welcoming space, but also a safe place.” This means investing in a pint-size potty, or a seat that will make your child comfortable on the grown-up version.

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Learning your child’s schedule can be a challenge, so early on, “set regular times,” says Jana. “For example, kids often poop predictably after meals, before going to bed or reliably every couple of hours. You can also simply have [the] child accompany you in the bathroom when you need to go and, if they will, sit on the potty seat too. Overall—make it a regular and fun activity rather than a ‘you have to’ and forced one.”

While Dr. Jana is hesitant to recommend rewards in the form of food, she does believe in heaping on the praise. “Celebrate accomplishments,” she says. “That means a sticker chart for successes. A cumulative week-long reward for multiple successes or reaching certain goal that might be an outing or activity together.” But tying rewards back into the potty-training itself can also be a double-incentive.

There are plenty of kid-friendly books on the subject, and Jana suggests that bringing one or two right into the bathroom. “Have your child come in and sit on the potty,” Jana says, “and time it according to when your child has to frequently pee or poop. Start "narrating" when your child starts to show signs of sensing the need to go—‘Oh, are you pooping? Let's hurry and go put your poop in the potty!’”

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Just because your daughter trained at 2 doesn’t mean junior’s behind because he’s not ready at 2-and-a-half. "I always remind parents—and child care providers—that it's an individual thing,” says Jana. “Both my boys potty trained very successfully before the age of 2 with little effort. My daughter potty trained closer to the age of 3.” So resist the urge to compare—it only adds unnecessary pressure.

If your kid will pee in the potty—but still won’t poop—give it time. “This is normal. For many 2-year-olds, it can simply be a factor of not having the attention span, ability or interest in sitting still long enough,” says Jana. “Consider whether child is potentially not pooping in the potty out of discomfort and/or fear of doing so, as this can happen. You definitely want to make sure constipation isn't an underlying obstacle.”

Potty training can be a long process—and Jana reminds parents that it’s best taken step by step. “I typically separate discussion of potty training and staying dry at night, as the ability to do them can develop at different times,” she notes. “[It] can be encouraged by limiting drinks in the hour or two before bedtime, cutting out caffeine, making going to the potty before bedtime a routine and automatic, like tooth-brushing, rather than just when one has to.”

“Assure your child that accidents happen, and then simply have them help you take care of it,” suggests Jana. “Reinforce underlying message that poop goes in the potty, and then have them accompany you while you go take the ‘accident’ to the potty and flush it. When my kids had accidents, I'd say ‘that darn poop was too tricky this time, but next time you'll know!’—and then challenge kids to be smarter than their poop and pee. They rise to the challenge.”