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Of all the personal decisions you have to make as a new expecting parent, the big announcement that you're pregnant can be met with excitement, concern, trepidation, and questions. How, when, and whom to tell are all questions that are bound to pop into your mind at first.
With the rise in baby announcements and gender-reveal parties, you might feel pressured or think others will expect you to go big as well. Before you make that decision, here are five things to think through with your partner to help you decide when to tell your family that you're pregnant.
1. Coming to terms with your pregnancy
Whether the pregnancy was planned or not, you and your partner will need to fully wrap your minds around the fact that you're expecting. Congratulations! This is the beginning of a new future for you. Once you work through your own emotions and feelings about this time, only then can you begin to think of how others will take the news.
2. When the time is right — for you
Most pregnancies are in the safe zone after the first trimester, and it is recommended to wait until at least then to start sharing your news. But sometimes that is so hard to hold in! The time is only right when you decide. Whether you want to share the news with a few trusted confidants in the first few weeks, or not tell everyone until you know the gender, or even sometime in between, feel comfortable knowing that whatever choice you make is the right one. Working through the pros and cons of telling family and friends early will help you make this decision.
3. Who makes the list?
Another decision you have to make: Who gets to hear the big news? Once you’ve decided when you want to share, you have full control over who to tell. If you have closer friends than family, by all means, share with them first. If you are closer to one sister than another, give yourself the freedom to accept your decision and sleep OK at night knowing that you are doing what is best for you.
Think of your mental health and emotional well-being when you decide who you want to talk to first. Additional stress over what others will feel or think is not your concern. Share this happy time with those who will be happy for you, too.
There is nothing wrong with going big and bold or small and intimate.
4. Pick your own style
The big announcement videos that you see online are only one way to share the news of your upcoming new arrival. You might want to schedule a photo shoot to include some baby shoes, think of a cute saying about how you didn’t socially distance this year and are now expecting, or just pose with your baby bump. Other ways to share the news could just be a personal phone call to those you love. You and your partner’s style should be reflected in your announcement, and there is nothing wrong with going big and bold or small and intimate.
5. Sharing more later
Once you share the news that you're expecting, plan to get a barrage of attention, questions, probes for details, and advice, loads of advice! Just because you decided to tell family and friends that you're pregnant does not mean you have to share each and every detail from that point forward. Feel free to use some of these helpful phrases to let those who want to know more that you will share when you are ready.
“Thank you for checking in. We’re just fine!”
“At the moment, we’re taking it day by day”
“What great advice. We’ll keep that in mind.”
Of course, if you want to share more, do so as you are comfortable.
In the meantime, take care of yourself and your baby. There will be plenty of time to share with family and friends all about your big and exciting news.
