Pregnancy is such a beautiful and miraculous thing, but it can also be difficult on your body and mind. Not only do you have your body changing and hormones you can’t control, but you may also have to deal with people who intrude way too much and are unintentionally insensitive in the things they say.
When I was pregnant, some people made unsolicited comments often, but the worst of it came when I was close to my due date. So to help the world at large out, here are five things to never, EVER say to a pregnant woman close to her due date:
1. The classic comments on how “big” they are getting
“Wow, you are so huge!”
“Your belly can’t get any bigger!”
“You look like you’re having twins!”
Ultimately, someone’s bump is their body — more specifically, their belly — and when has anyone ever liked someone referring to their belly as huge?
Instead of commenting on the size of someone’s bump, maybe just say how it is so cute or so amazing that they are growing a little baby in there.
2. “You look so…”
…tired.
…miserable.
…swollen.
They very well could be tired or miserable or swollen — probably all three at once — and they don’t need anyone pointing it out. Try mentioning positive things as opposed to things that may be negative.
3. “Sleep while you can”
I know this saying usually comes from a good place, where well-meaning veteran parents are telling a first-time parent to sleep before the baby comes, but it’s really SO UNHELPFUL.
When I was super pregnant, I was already not sleeping well because I was so physically uncomfortable. So when people would say this to me, it actually made my anxiety worse, because I was afraid that after I delivered I would get even worse sleep.
4. “When is the baby coming?”
Do pregnant women look psychic? When I was approaching the end of my pregnancy, I heard this question way too many times, and it was the last thing I wanted to hear. I was so miserable and just praying my baby would come before their due date because I was so sick of being pregnant.
I would understand people asking when I was having the baby if I had a planned C-section, but I was waiting for spontaneous labor with both of my babies. This question seems harmless, but it was very frustrating because it was usually followed up with a comment along the lines of, “Tell them to hurry up!” If only I could.
5. “You’re STILL pregnant?”
Uhh…. YES.
I delivered my daughter at 39 weeks exactly, and my son when I was 38 weeks and four days, and I was still asked this question. In my opinion, it was one of the worst questions I would get asked.
I was so uncomfortable that all I wanted to do was give birth, and having the constant comments on how I needed to “hurry up and deliver” was infuriating. I hadn’t even reached my due date, so I can’t imagine how much I would have heard this comment if I had passed it.
I know most of these comments come from people who are either well-intentioned or uninformed on what can come across as hurtful. I wanted to write this list not to discourage anyone, but to help people be more aware of the things they are saying and how they could affect someone else.
The best thing you can do for your loved one who is pregnant is be there for them and encourage them whenever you can. When in doubt, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
