There aren’t really words to explain what it feels like to be pregnant right now. It’s strange and scary. Contemplative and quiet. Lonely. Very lonely.
I’ve been pregnant before — back in the “normal” days — and this time it's a whole new ball game. There's no coach or captain to share what’s coming next or how to best maneuver things. I feel like I’m flying solo — because I am. Because everything is unprecedented. There are few answers. Things are constantly changing. And thanks to pregnancy hormones, I daily experience a range of tears and frustration mixed with the joy of my coming baby.
So what do pregnant women really want during these strange times?
Other than the obvious wishing for it all to be over, these few things would be really nice…
Acknowledgement
Truly, I feel kind of forgotten. Without seeing friends and family regularly, I sometimes wonder if anyone remembers that I’m expecting. It would mean the world to me to get a phone call, text, email, or even a note in the mail to just check in. Any kind of personal connection — any kind of acknowledgement.
To hear “This sucks”
If you don’t feel like you have the magic words, just say, “This sucks”. Because it does. Then let us cry or laugh or cuss. And maybe offer us a peace offering of our current craving.
Affirmation of my birth choices
Hospital, birth center, home birth, OB, midwife … I promise we are all trying to make the best, safest choice for our family. That might be different than what we’ve done before, but we have definitely thought it through. Be our sounding board. Don’t question the plan we land on. Affirm our research and lend your support for our birth choices.
A porch drop-off surprise
During my first trimester, a good friend made me a lasagna and dropped it off on my porch. It was frozen and ready for any night where I needed to feed my family quickly. Another texted me one morning asking if I’d like coffee delivery. These little porch drop-off surprises made my week!
Maternity photos
Photography sessions are a bit up in the air right now, but it is essential that we remember this time. We’re home a lot, not getting ready often, and yet this time is precious and well worth documenting. Help us make it happen.
Some kind of baby shower
Just because we can’t have a traditional shower, doesn’t mean we don’t want our baby to be celebrated. Help coordinate a diaper dash or Zoom baby shower. It might not be perfect, but something is better than nothing.
An outdoor meetup
I need fresh air. I need exercise. And most of all, I need my friends. Take me on a walk someday?
Postpartum support
Perhaps more than connection and help during pregnancy, we really need our community to rally in our postpartum days. After baby is born, don’t forget us! It seems we are in the long haul with this pandemic, so get us on your calendar for some kind of weekly check-in. We appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.