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Being pregnant is hard, especially the first go-round when you don’t know what to expect during the later pregnancy period, labor, or the first weeks at home with your newborn. Under normal circumstances, women have their friends and family to provide much-needed support through these stressful periods. Thanks to the pandemic, many pregnant mamas are feeling more stress than ever, unable to rely on traditional support systems to help them.
If you know someone who is pregnant who needs support, what options do you have available to you to help them? The pandemic can make offering help and support feel limiting and frustrating. Take a breath and realize there are many ways to support a pregnant friend during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Find ways to help the mom-to-be stay socially connected
Feeling isolated is one of the biggest problems for pregnant women right now because they have so much they are stressed about already, and being away from family and friends only gives them time to worry more. Without the backup of confidants telling mom that everything will be fine, she can dwell on all the potential negatives. This isn’t healthy for her or the baby.
Get mom and some of her closest friends on a zoom call. This will keep her from being completely socially isolated and often becomes a much needed time to laugh and cry — maybe at the same time. Reassure her that it’s okay to feel like its unfair and really hard to be pregnant at this time. You don’t need to wait for a Zoom party to give her a call — reach out regularly (whether she picks up or not). Just knowing you care goes a long way for an expecting mom struggling at home.
Coordinate a pandemic-safe baby shower
From the moment you become pregnant, you start to imagine certain milestone events such as starting labor or the first time you set eyes on your baby. Daydreaming about a fun baby shower where your friends and family can share in your joy is one of those moments. Thanks to the pandemic, many expecting moms have canceled their baby shower to avoid big crowds risking exposure to themselves and others. This can be a huge disappointment and feeling of missing out.
You can support your pregnant friend during the pandemic by arranging a virtual or drive-by baby shower. The virtual shower can be done via Zoom with icebreakers and games. A drive-by shower sets up a space in your friend’s front-yard, full of decorations and festivities. Friends and family are given a set time to do their drive-by, delivering a gift and enjoying some human interaction, albeit six feet apart for social distancing.
“My drive-by shower was so much fun," first-time mom Angela Mitchell told Mom.com. "While I couldn’t hug everyone who came by, I could feel the love each person had for me. It meant so much.”
Put together a care calendar to coordinate support
In the same way that someone might arrange for a meal train when someone is sick, you can establish what’s called a care calendar. Laura Malcolm, founder of Give InKind, said this helps organize all of the help being offered to the mom-to-be. “This would allow friends to all claim a meal delivery on their care calendar, put their name on grocery or diaper runs, volunteer for childcare or pet care,” she told Mom.com. This is a great way to offer your friend support that takes some of the pressure off of you to do everything.
The expectant mom will get the benefit of help and support and feel even better that it comes from her community of family and friends, not putting all the work on one person. Use social media to coordinate with mutual friends so the support network is as big as it can be. You’ll find that most people are more than happy to help and appreciate someone taking the reigns to point them in the direction needed for your mutual friend.
Note: To take one more thing off her plate, check with the mom-to-be and then lay out all safety procedures and protocols for all participants. For example, besides wearing masks, she may want to also require visitors to socially distance and chat through the window, require all packages be left at the door, etc.
Pregnancy gift ideas and pandemic-safe ways to treat the mom-to-be
Get it delivered
The list of things an expectant mom needs is never-ending. Food is one of those things, but the parents-to-be may not be going out to shop regularly because of the pandemic — help them make a list and have an order brought to their doorstep. But maybe it's not something mom needs but something she just wants, like her favorite dessert — order some and have them delivered. And since everyone — not just expectant parents — are tired of cooking at home, a great pregnancy gift is a gift card to a favorite restaurant. For expecting moms with other kids, think about a gift box that will occupy siblings. This helps keep kids busy and takes the pressure off of the mama to always be their playmate or keep them busy.
Pregnancy photoshoot
One of the most enjoyable things about being pregnant is documenting every stage of pregnancy with pictures. Limited social encounters could limit the amount of pictures an expecting mom gets of her growing baby. You can change this by offering to organize a pregnancy photoshoot that is compliant with social distancing. If you aren’t great with taking photos, gather a few friends to chip in and pay for a professional shoot. Your friend will be blown away at how thoughtful this gift is and will be eager to share the photos in the next Zoom party.
