My nesting instincts never happened. All those pregnancy books assured me in my third trimester that I’d feel an intense desire to get ready for the birth of my baby. I imagined I’d wake up with an uncontrollable urge to research the best Diaper Genies and baby socks.
But with only a handful of weeks left before my due date, all I felt inspired to do was nap and pee. Still, even without that intense hormonal drive, my first-time-mama nervousness was enough to motivate me to do all the things.
But I couldn’t escape the feeling that I was missing something
Looking back, I’m not entirely sure how it happened — why assembling all my baby’s gear was saved until the last minutes of my pregnancy. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was excited to research and plan. Somehow, though, the days of my pregnancy blended together. A great many were spent on eating crackers to ease my nausea, and then others were consumed with trying to figure out my bra extenders. Suddenly, I was in my third trimester.
So in my last preggo months, I became focused on making sure I had everything for my newborn in his first few months. I made lists for my lists because what if I missed something? What if I forgot my little guy’s burp cloths or his tiny nail clippers for tiny nail clipping emergencies? I hoped this new level of preparedness would also ease my new mom jitters. But when I crossed baby essentials off my to-do list, the wave of relief that normally showed up with every checkmark did not. I was at a loss.
“I’m not sure I’ll have the things I need in time,” I told my mom friend.
I knew she could hear the panic in my voice, but that’s when I heard the smile in hers as she said, “I promise you’ll be OK if you’re missing things. Take these last few months for you.” She went on to explain that I should enjoy this time with my partner. But above all, I needed to embrace this time with myself. “It’s beautiful how your life will change,” she began, ”but these last months with just you are special.”
After I hung up the phone, I thought about what she said. She was right.
The tiny nail clippers could wait. The time with myself couldn’t.
I knew my life would change once I had my son, but in making sure I had everything for him, I’d forgotten to make sure I had everything for me — that’s what had been missing. I decided to focus more on relishing this time with myself and my husband. Finally, I felt that feeling of relief I’d been looking for.
In my third trimester, I spent time with my partner both staying in or going out to check out a new restaurant or see the occasional movie — activities I knew I’d fall asleep doing once our baby was born. Then on my own, I did things I loved like reading and hanging out quietly with our pets — activities I knew I’d fall asleep doing once our baby was born.
Taking time to enjoy the last months with my partner and with myself was the best advice I received while pregnant
It’s one of the only tips I’d pass on when given the opportunity. So, mamas take time for you in your last preggo months, because preparing yourself is also an excellent way to prepare for your baby. I promise the tiny nail clippers can wait.
