An anonymous woman on Reddit says she's found herself in the midst of some unexpected family drama and is asking for some unbiased feedback on where to go from here. According to the original poster (OP), her teenage sister Sadie became pregnant last year with twin girls. But after Sadie's boyfriend, Tyler, died in a car wreck during her pregnancy, her plans for the future suddenly changed. And after another upsetting setback hit the family, the teen eventually turned to her sister (the OP) for help.
Unfortunately, that's where things took an uncomfortable turn.
The complicated story was shared last week by u/AlarmingCrew6726
In the post, the OP tries to lay out her situation, which clearly has many different layers to it.
For one thing, the poster explains that she and her sister are seven years apart in age — the OP is 26 and Sadie is 19. In addition, they don't talk often or seem to have a very close relationship.
The sisters also happen to live in completely different countries, with the OP living in England with her husband, Lewis, and Sadie living back in Canada near their parents.
When Sadie first learned she was pregnant, she was 18 years old
At the time, she was dating her boyfriend Tyler, who fathered the twins. But just a few months after announcing the pregnancy, Tyler and his own sister were involved in a fatal car wreck that neither sibling survived.
Naturally, Sadie was devastated, but luckily her parents stepped in to support her through the rest of her pregnancy. But shortly after the twins were born, the family was struck with yet another round of bad news: Sadie's father was diagnosed with lung cancer.
Once again, priorities shifted
Ever since, Sadie's mother has been solely focused on her husband's health, with less time to help Sadie with her newborn twins.
So, feeling the pressure of raising twins as a single mom in her teens, Sadie turned to her sister.
"Sadie reached out to me a few months ago and asked if we could send her some money every month so she could hire a babysitter for her kids and help my dad," the OP shared. "Lewis and I agreed since we were financially stable and could afford it."
Sadie seemed to be grateful for the help and thanked her sister sincerely
But a few weeks ago, the OP says that Sadie reached out again — this time with a pretty major request.
"[She] asked if we could move back to Canada to help with the twins," the OP shared, but "Lewis and I refused."
"I feel like it's too much," the poster went on, explaining that "we've built a life here in England and my husband has a demanding job here and it would take him a while to find another one in Canada."
That said, the pressure isn't just coming from Sadie.
"My mom has sent me a few texts begging for me to come back because they could really use the help," the poster continued, adding that she now feels bad for turning down her sister during her time of need.
Redditors have now been weighing in by the hundreds
And, for the most part, people are telling the OP that she shouldn't beat herself up so much for turning down the request.
"You're not required to uproot your life to be additional parents to your sister's children," one person told her. "She was fine to ask, you're fine to say no."
Others took things even further, though, saying that Sadie was the one who overstepped boundaries.
"She wasn’t fine to ask," someone else countered. "It’s the most ridiculous request."
"Asking a family member to MOVE COUNTRIES SEPARATED BY AN OCEAN for your convenience is WAAAAAAAAAAAY over the line of acceptable requests," someone else added.
Still, a lot of people had empathy for the teen mom
Many people couldn't help but think about how alone — and rejected — Sadie must feel right now at a very vulnerable time in her life.
"When twins are your first children, it’s so, so easy to get a lot overwhelmed in a short amount of time and to stop seeing things too rationally," one person pointed out.
"Wow OP. I hope nothing bad ever happens to you," another wrote. "Because really? Sadie was 'very upset'? Tyler was her boyfriend 'at the time'? Do you trivialize everyone this much or just people who don’t go to Dream Universities? It just feels like your empathy center is broken."
"She is scared and drowning and she asked for help," someone else said. "You said no and she seems to have dropped it. I am not sure a few texts begging for help makes your mom an AH, but she is leaning that way. Especially if she doesn't drop it."
"People are not AHs for asking for help," they added. "They are only AHs if they don't respect your right to decline."
So far, the OP hasn't updated her readers on whether she's changed her mind
She has, however, clarified some frequently asked questions about why Tyler's family couldn't lend some help.
In addition to his sister passing away in the same car wreck, Tyler had very few family members to begin with. Sadly, his mother died while giving birth to him and his dad later died of a terminal illness. Other than that, his circle was very small.
Whatever happens in this story, we hope that Sadie finds her footing as a new mama and that the sisters are able to patch things up for the sake of those two little babies.
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