What to Know
Being the memory maker, elf mover, gift wrapper, and all around good time gal no matter what the event is during the holiday season is not as easy as some moms make it look. But we do it, because part of our job is to make that magic happen at every turn, especially if we have spouses who do their best to put a damper on it all.
I don’t know what it is about some men and the tendency to throw on a woe-is-me face and drag their feet to pumpkin patches, Santa meet-and-greets, and Christmas tree farms. But one woman on TikTok, Paige, shared in a video that she has seen how the grumpy dad syndrome during the holiday season impacts kids long-term.
Spoiler alert: most kids remember those grumpy dad moments well into adulthood, so yeah, it’s not great.
Kids will remember their dad complaining about every little thing during the holidays.
@sheisapaigeturner Kids will always remember which parent helped make the holidays magical. They also remember when someone steals that magic. ##holidaymagic##christmasgifts##christmaspictures##familytradition##happyholidays ♬ original sound – Paige
Paige explains in her video that she still thinks about the Christmas when her mom gave her dad a set of gold balls that were supposed to be from the kids. Because they weren’t the specific brand he likes, he threw a fit. He could have put on a smile and played it off, but he chose not to. And Paige still remembers that moment well, among all of the other happy holiday memories. Ouch.
“I think as a parent, like, part of my job, and I imagine what my mom was doing at the time, was trying to make us feel like the holidays were magical,” Paige says. “And those moments when a parent is complaining or frustrated to be at the pictures or doesn’t like the gift, and they state it out loud, it doesn’t just communicate to their partner that they’re unhappy or disappointed or whatever it is. It also communicates to the child.”
Kids can feel it if a parent is frustrated or checked out. Even when I get the slightest but frustrated, my six-year-old clocks it right away and checks in with me. Bless her little sassy soul for that, but it just proves that kids see and sense more than some parents might think. So a Christmas or fall season marred by a parent, specifically a dad, who complains or makes it clear that he doesn’t want to go somewhere will stick with a child for a long time.
Paige also says in her video that she isn’t sure when this narrative of husbands being so unwilling to participate in holiday events, to the point where they openly complain or sulk during the events, became the norm. Honestly, I can’t either. It’s not cute, and life is not a sitcom. No one wants to endure the holidays or what are supposed to be fun family events if there is a curmudgeon along for the ride.
“Every time I see a ‘funny’ video of a dad complaining about family photos or whatever it is, I think about that,” Paige says in her TikTok. “Like, I think about that experience as a child and feeling so viscerally that my parent was not enjoying or wasn’t happy with what was happening. And I just want this to be a friendly reminder that your kids are paying attention, and they will remember.”
