One mom is being applauded online this week for giving her teen daughter some well-deserved "tough love." According to Reddit user winloserepeat-908, her daughter talked her into booking an upcoming trip for her 18th birthday, which would include her two best friends. The mom was apparently more than willing to pay for the trip until she discovered that her daughter had "uninvited" one of the girls for a very cruel reason. Now she's trying to teach her daughter a lesson by nixing the trip altogether, and most people on Reddit seem to agree.
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Before diving into what happened, the mom shared some necessary background
For starters, her daughter Abby hasn't always had it easy.
Shortly before she was born 18 years ago, her dad "took off" and remained out of her life for many years. Eventually, he returned and wanted to make amends, so he sought 50% custody of her in the courts and won.
Since then, he has in fact taken on a lot of financial responsibility for the teen, covering roughly 60% of all her needs and expenses. But his entrance into her life has also had some negative impacts.
"To make up for the five years he wasn't there, he spoiled her rotten no matter what I said," the mother shared, adding that she suspects "this is why [Abby] gained so much weight in her preteens and teens."
For the past year, however, Abby has been on a health journey to lose the weight
In the meantime, her mom has tried to be her biggest cheerleader, even going so far as to buy her a little gift every time she hit a new milestone.
"Four months ago, [Abby] asked that I don't get her any more rewards and add it up to her birthday gift, and for her gift she wants a vacation I will pay for — for her and her friends — instead of the huge party I had promised for her 18th."
After thinking it through, the poster agreed to the birthday vacation
But as the trip inched closer, things took a sudden turn.
"I called the other two girls' parents to confirm the girls would be [going] and learned Abby's best friend Betty isn't going," the mom shared. "Betty loves traveling and was looking forward to the vacation so I asked why."
"Apparently, Abby uninvited her because 'she is too chubby to look good in pictures,'" the poster relayed.
Shocked, the mom sat her daughter down for a heart-to-heart
"I calmly talked to Abby and reminded her how Betty would feel being left out for such a reason," she wrote.
But instead of feeling bad about what she'd done, the teen apparently snapped back, saying, "I didn't work so hard for this vacation so my pictures will be ruined."
Oof.
"Long story short, I insisted Abby should apologize to Betty for body shaming her and reminded her how horrible she felt when people did it to her not even more than a year ago," the mom continued. "I also threatened to cancel the vacation if she didn't apologize, because although I am glad she is so confident in her own skin now, it is not an excuse to put others down."
Abby did not take to this kindly
Instead, her mom says she "stormed off" and went to stay with her dad — which sparked a whole other bit of drama.
"I later received a call from my very angry ex telling me off for making decisions for Abby, and using this as an excuse to cancel," the mom shared. "He also insisted he pays an extra 10% for Abby's needs so he demands I don't cancel."
The mom accused her ex of "enabling" Abby's bullying and hung up, but then called Abby back herself to remind her that she wasn't asking her to invite Betty if she didn't want to — all she wanted was for her daughter to apologize for how "unnecessarily mean and hurtful" she was.
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In the end, this didn't work
Not only did Abby refuse to apologize, but she also tried to get Betty to talk to her mom and say that she lied about being uninvited.
"When Betty said no, [Abby] sent a ton of hateful texts and body-shaming insults I can't even write down," the mom shared.
After Betty sent the mom screenshots of their exchange, it was the final straw — the vacation was off.
"My ex tried to rebook, but it's a very popular place with a long waiting list so soon after I canceled, the girls were replaced with other people," the mom continued.
Abby's birthday has now come and gone, but she's still furious with her mother
Her ex – along with several close friends — also think she should have put her daughter "first" in all of this.
So, the mom is now asking Reddit: Was she justified in canceling the trip, or was it really a step too far?
In the comments, people immediately backed her decision.
"Teaching your daughter to not be a horrible human being IS putting her first," one person reminded the mom.
"Agreed!" added someone else. "OP gave her daughter many chances to apologize to her friend, but her daughter doubled down on being a bully instead. "
"That's exactly what I was thinking," someone else chimed in. "Mom is putting her first by teaching her a life lesson. Her daughter isn't confident, she's an obnoxious brat so full of herself and doesn't deserve the reward and dad's just enabling that entitled behavior."
In fact, a lot of people said that Abby's dad was a major part of the problem here
"The dad has made his daughter into a narcissist," one person declared. "The daughter hasn't learnt anything from this, and seems to have strong belief that her actions were justified. Classic narcissist."
Others simply took the time to reassure the mom that what she was doing was ultimately right in the long run, even if it was hard.
"I commend your strength and parenting skills," one person told her. "This was the right thing to do and would've been hard to do. Well done, you deserve to go on the [vacation] yourself."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
