What to Know
According to one man on TikTok, Gabriel Hannans, the only way to combat the authoritarianism of the United States in relation to ICE and similar situations is to start with gentle parenting at home with our kids. It might sound like something pretty small, especially given the political climate and immediate dangers that people are facing all over the country, but according to Gabriel, “gentle parenting saves lives.”
He explains in his video that when people see ICE agents shoot and kill people without an actual visible threat, the docile reaction of other people is a result of authoritarian parenting. To combat that, and to prevent our own kids from growing up to accept defeat out of fear, Gabriel says it’s our job as parents to implement gentle parenting. Or, at the very least, some form of gentle parenting.
@the_indomitable_blackman Gentle parenting teaches kids to question authority, practice empathy, deescalate, self regulate, think critically, respect people and their boundaries, love themselves… etc Authoritarian parenting teaches kids to comply no matter what to whatever authority has control. It doesn't teach any skills, it doesn't foster emotional intelligence, it doesn't allow for any questioning or thoughts that aren't aligned with the authority figure or collective identity. I know for a FACT that Agent that pulled that trigger doesn't love himself, wasn't raised in a home that taught de-escalation, emotional intelligence, respect of people, empathy or healthy love. #fyp #gentleparenting #foryoupage #foryoupage #parents ♬ original sound – The Indomitable Blackman
He says that gentle parenting is actually “revolutionary” for the U.S.
In some ways, the society around is authoritarian. So those who were raised under that sort of parenting style, where parents led with fear and punishments rather than kind words and conversations about feelings, are now “conditioned to authoritarianism,” according to Gabriel. He explains that present day adults who were raised with that parenting style are more likely to be “compliant and docile” when faced with authority figures like ICE.
Gabriel uses the death of Renee Nicole Good as an example. When she was shot and killed by an ICE agent in Minneapolis on Jan. 7, 2026, some people claimed that the ICE agent shot her in self-defense, though she was unarmed.
“That’s why as soon as he pulled that trigger, people [were] already talking about, ‘oh, self defense, oh, she deserved it,'” Gabriel says in his video. “Because you’re conditioned to believe that. You’re conditioned to not question authority. Just like a lot of y’all are conditioned to believe that your parents, even though they beat the holy Hell out of you, did the best they could with what they had, that we should still respect our elders, that beat the Hell out of us and made us kneel on grits and rice, that beat us with the belt buckle, that kicked us downstairs, that did psychological abuse in warfare.”
He says that gentle parenting can change things in a major way.
Gentle parenting has the potential to change the way our children react to figures of authority who might not have their best interests at heart. It isn’t about raising an army, or raising children to grow up to fight violence with violence. Instead, it’s about raising them in a way that makes them aware of what they’re worth and what they can do instead of sitting down and being walked all over.
Parents commented on Gabriel’s TikTok to agree with his ideas about raising kids with gentle parenting.
“Trying to teach my kids emotional intelligence and regulation is exhausting. Having my kids constantly question me is exhausting… and I will never make them stop,” one parent shared under the video. “They NEED those skills.”
Another wrote, “Never in my life have I been happier that my kids question authority.”
