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The cost of your divorce will largely depend on whether or not you and your spouse agree on things. Uncontested divorces can cost just a few thousand dollars, with the average divorce costing $15,000 per person when you add in court fees and attorney costs, and when evaluators and advisers need to be hired to look at custody or financials.
Trust me when I say that the money can add up fast when you aren’t agreeing on things. I recall thinking that I could have put a down payment on a house when my divorce costs crossed $40,000 thanks to contesting financial data and custody. While I don’t regret fighting for what I believed was right, it can be a tough pill to swallow when you see how much money the system takes from you.
Contested or uncontested
Costs will be highly dependent on whether or not the divorce is contested or uncontested. This simply means, do you and your ex agree on the terms of the split? The terms involve both financials and custody. It is entirely possible to agree on one and wholeheartedly disagree on the other.
In my case, we had two very significant disagreements leading to a California trial over financials and a two-and-a-half-year custody battle with a custody evaluator. When everyone is billing hourly and you have volumes of paperwork going back and forth, costs add up quickly.
Where do costs go?
Family law attorney Agnes Z. Olechno told Mom.com that costs go to more than just attorneys and the courts. Couples must often “retain experts to value the marital portion of a retirement plan (e.g., 401k, pension) and hire an appraiser to conduct an appraisal of the marital residence,” she told Mom.com. An average home appraisal will cost $300 to $450 or more depending on the area you live in.
If one person thinks the other is hiding money, they may need a forensic accountant that can cost more than $3,000. A private investigator is often hired, especially if someone feels there is cheating going on. A private investigator can charge anywhere from $40 to $100 an hour or more, with costs adding up quickly.
There are court reporters who must be hired if there are depositions. Custody evaluators are psychologists who specialize in divorce proceedings to provide determinations of what is best for the kids. Custody evaluators can cost anywhere from $1,000 to $10,000. Every person has to determine what the potential reward for the cost is.
You might be wondering whether I felt paying what was my life savings at the time worth the fight in court. All I can say is you have to be able to live with your choice. I knew that I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t stand up for what I believed in and something bad happened to my son after I quit the fight. At the same time, I know I was lucky enough to have that life savings to spend. Some people don’t.
The DIY divorce
For those who agree on things, or can’t afford representation, a DIY divorce will cost you what the divorce courts charge for filing fees and hearings. According to Olencho, “the filing fees can cost anywhere from $200 to $1,000.” This is considerable savings, but be wary of your own situation to make sure you can handle the negotiations if there are any. Most DIY cases will work with a court mediator to finalize agreements and save both parties money.
Olechno warns that there are situations where you should have an attorney rather than a mediator. “It would also be inappropriate for parties to work with a mediator if there have been incidents of domestic violence and one party has more power over the other party, whether financially or emotionally,” he advised.
Remember that even if you can’t afford an attorney because you’re a stay-at-home mom or if your spouse makes more money, they may be ordered to pay for some of your legal costs. It’s always worth having a 30-minute free consultation with an attorney to be certain about your rights.
To hear experienced insight from divorce attorney Jonna Spilbor on what a divorce can cost you, check out these episodes of Divorce Tips:
