I grew up in a very secular Jewish household. We were definitely Jewish from a cultural and historical point-of-view. My parents grew up with some amount of religious observance. My dad is Israeli and his parents tragically lost many family members during the Holocaust. Much of my family’s identity was wrapped up in Judaism, and our sense of humor definitely had Jewish roots.
But when it came to religious observance, there was none of that when I was a kid
I never went to temple. I didn’t have a Bat Mitzvah. Neither of my parents really believed in God — they had atheistic tendencies. We barely celebrated Jewish holidays. I think we went to a few seders over the years, and maybe lit a menorah when we remembered, but there was nothing consistent about it, and nothing significant or meaningful.
Funnily enough, there were times that I wished we could celebrate Christmas. Like many kids, I found Christmas magical. I wanted a tree with all the pretty lights. I wanted to wake up with gifts under the tree, and to experience that warm, cozy feeling of Christmas morning. My parents didn’t allow that, though.
When I had kids, I knew I wanted to do things a little differently
I definitely grew up feeling a little deprived when it came to the holidays, and I wanted to make sure my kids got a chance to experience them. And yes, I hoped that I would catch a little of that holiday magic for myself too.
So, starting when my first child was little, my husband (who is also Jewish) and I decided we’d go all out. We decided to celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas. And we’ve been doing that for the past 14 years.
Now, when I say we “go all out,” I don’t mean that we do anything fancy or extravagant. Not at all. For Hanukkah, we make latkes (potato pancakes), play dreidel, and light the menorah. My kids get one big gift on the first night, and lots of small gifts on the nights that follow. We visit with grandparents, and just try to have a simple, special time.
Christmas is also simple but meaningful
We decorate a tree every year, and we enjoy taking out our bag of ornaments that we’ve acquired over the years and reminiscing about each ornament’s history. My kids don’t believe in Santa (maybe that’s where the Jewish parts comes in!), but we set out treats for him on Christmas Eve. And we wake up early to open presents on Christmas morning, of course.
Celebrating Christmas doesn’t make my kids feel any less Jewish. Just like my parents raised us, we are mostly culturally Jewish. We don’t attend temple, and my sons don’t intend to get Bar Mitzvahs. But they know the history behind the holidays we celebrate, and they have very strong Jewish identities and a rich understanding of Jewish culture and history.
They don’t think it’s weird to be Jews who celebrate Christmas
There are actually lots of us, and some might argue that in many ways, Christmas isn’t really even a religious holiday anymore, but more of a cultural one. To our family, Christmas is about finding light in darkness, coming together as a family, and celebrating the joy of the season. We often donate canned goods and used clothes during Christmas, because I want to teach my children that Christmas isn’t just about receiving but also about giving.
Sometimes, when I tell people that we celebrate Christmas, they think it’s a little strange. And sometimes I myself feel out of place. To be honest, I sometimes feel out of place celebrating Jewish holidays, because, like my parents, I’m basically an atheist. But I also know that holiday traditions are what you make of them, and that there is something in them for everyone who wants to partake.
