‘Tis the season for celebrating the holidays with your infant! Everyone wants to snuggle your bundle of joy, perhaps even seeing your baby for the first time. However, you’ve got some serious doubts and thus, decisions to make. Will you be traveling with your infant this Christmas?
I hate to burst your nearest and dearests’ holiday bubble, but there are some valid reasons for staying home this year. Whether your baby is a few weeks old or several months old, avoiding holiday travel and gatherings can be a very good idea.
My husband and I have four children, two of whom were born in November. It was difficult to make holiday plans — and boundaries — while balancing our excitement to celebrate our newborns’ first Christmases. However, parents should give themselves permission to set boundaries regarding their holiday plans, especially with a new baby in tow.
Winter illnesses
Babies are very susceptible to complications from RSV — the virus that is absolutely rampant right now. Breathing difficulties in infants can not only cause major parental worry, but also hospitalization. Not to mention, there’s also an onslaught of influenza, COVID-19, and other viruses that can make you — and your baby — very ill. Since most holiday gatherings are indoors and include dining together, spreading germs with your relatives is much more likely than a summer barbeque.
Schedule disruptions
Though some believe babies should be adaptable, this simply isn’t the case for many. If you want a happy baby, they need to be fed and rested on schedule. Nothing is more miserable than a fussy, inconsolable infant — because an unhappy baby means unhappy parents. When traveling and attending gatherings away from home, it’s nearly impossible to keep your baby (and yourself) regulated and content. I don’t know about you, but when I don’t get a good night’s sleep (which doesn’t happen with a baby, anyway) and snacks, I’m not very pleasant to be around, either.
Performance anxiety
The truth is, attending any holiday gathering requires a level of “performance.” For one, everyone wants to hold the baby. This, of course, risks germ exposure, but it also guarantees a prior point: disruption. Babies can become “touched out” and uncomfortable with all the different sights and scents from unfamiliar people holding them. Parents may also feel obligated to pass their baby around, even though it’s not what’s best for the baby at that time. This state of anxiety puts parents and baby in a spiral of unease and stress — the opposite of holiday cheer. Of course, you want to “show off” your bundle of joy, but this comes with a price.
Financial stress
Traveling and attending multiple holiday gatherings can put financial strain on parents who just had a baby. After all, that hospital bill can cost a pretty penny. Babies incur a lot of expenses for their parents: medical appointments, diapers, formula, and all the baby gear. It’s no surprise if your holiday budget including gas money, hotel rooms, food, and Christmas gifts is much tighter this year. There’s no shame in this. It’s OK to prioritize your baby and your immediate family’s needs over extended family gatherings.
The pressure to show up and out
It’s hard to forgo holiday traditions. Maybe there’s a special Christmas dessert your family expects you to make, or your partner’s family likes to play a pricey White Elephant gift exchange. While these are fun, they may not be part of your holiday mojo this year because you’re exhausted and financially strained after having your child. There’s always pressure to show up as you always have however, your game completely changed with the arrival of your little one.
I want to give you a permission slip to stay home this Christmas or simply limit your elsewhere holiday festivities. It is your holiday, your baby, and your decision. If you’re struggling, make a tried-and-true pros and cons list or talk to an experienced, empathetic parent friend. At the end of the day, choose to have joy and peace with whatever decision you make.
