My husband works a job that often requires more than 40 hours a week. Most weeks, it’s 50. He also has a seasonal side hustle that lasts about 5 months out of the year.
Needless to say, he’s gone a lot.
Each weekday, his alarm goes off at 4:15 a.m. Yes, 4:15 a.m. No matter the time of year, it’s always dark then. Last night, he got home at 10 p.m. That was an exceptionally late night. It’s usually more like 7 or 8 p.m., but still, that’s a REALLY long day, when you’ve been awake since even before the crack of dawn.
You know what else makes for a long day?
Being solo with the kids from sun up to sundown. Day in and day out.
It’s just me and the kids for at least 12 hours each day — usually a good 15 to 16, since between the four kids, I have both early birds and night owls.
To the mom whose husband works long hours, I feel you. I feel you hard.
We aren’t single moms — not even close. But there’s definitely a burden to running the home front 24/7.
I do most things alone — a lot like you, I suspect
I take four kids to the dentist solo because it isn’t feasible for my husband to make those appointments. Weekly speech appointments for my middle boys. I grocery shop with four and get our van’s oil changed with everyone in tow. And yes, lots of people stare and comment. What’s your witty reply? I need some fresh options.
I exercise with my kids (two in the stroller and two alongside me, on bikes or scooters) because it’s unlikely that I’ll fit that in before my husband wakes or after he gets home. On the weekends, I try to slip away for a quick run alone, but a sanity break once a week barely keeps me hanging on.
What do you do to take care of yourself when alone time isn’t really an option? Parenting solo 90% of the time is really exhausting, isn’t it?
And we have to refuel somehow
I prep meals with my husband in mind, but more things that will pack up as decent lunch warm-ups. Most nights, I join the kids and their kid-friendly meal because he’s not home at a regular dinnertime.
We communicate via email or text during the day, since I’m asleep when he leaves and, once he’s home, he’s too tired for coherent sentences or decision-making. It works, but I miss casually talking. So much of our life has come down to logistics.
Do you feel the same way?
None of this is a complaint. It’s just how things are. The present season. I 100% know that my husband is working his tail off for our family. I appreciate his sacrifice. But it doesn’t come without sacrifice of my own. It’s lonely and hard, and our family yearns for our missing piece when he’s away.
Hold strong, mama
It may seem like menial work — balancing life at home and carting kids to and fro — but your presence matters. It has value. The value is not connected to dollars, but important just the same.
When the going gets tough, remember, our husbands are working hard, we’re working hard, and together, we make an amazing team. A team that does the hard stuff, a team that’s united towards a common cause.
We may function solo on a daily basis, but we are not alone. That is the greatest blessing of all. So, let’s dig deep — we can do this!
