Ask most women before they’ve had kids to describe their perfect Mother’s Day and they’d describe a day filled with family brunches, quality time with the kids and hours of languishing in the joy that is being a mom. Ask a woman to describe her perfect Mother’s Day after she’s had kids and she’ll probably describe something similar to mine last year.
See, last year my kids decided to have a full on WWE-style fight in the car on the way to my “we want to celebrate you” Mother’s Day dinner at my favorite restaurant. Fully fed up, I got out of the car, walked back into my house, and had a glorious, relaxing time in the company of nothing but my oft-neglected Netlfix queue. My day quickly went from worst to best — mostly because I took some time off from being a mom on Mother’s Day.
You’re not alone if you’re secretly nodding in agreement, thinking the best Mother’s Day would involve some time off from the work, energy and guilt involved in being a mom. Most of us like the idea of a family day celebrating us … in theory. We just know better.
We know that that yummy family brunch means taking the kids to the bathroom a dozen times because children only have to pee when they see that their mom has sat down. Likewise, that great idea the hubs had to invite the entire extended family over so all the moms in the clan can be celebrated together will somehow, no matter what anyone promises otherwise, end in you washing all the dishes. Or, doing the cooking. Or, realistically, probably doing both.
I’m here to tell you if your dream Mother’s Day means not being a mom for part — or all — of the day, I feel you.
Someone will pee their pants on Mother’s Day. Another will have a school project due the next day that “only Mom can help with.” Laundry doesn’t stop needing to be done on Mother’s Day. And kids will still bicker, despite it being Mom’s special day.
All the while, you’ll have helped with that homework and intervened in a sibling battle that rivals “Game of Thrones,” and there will be a thought that goes through your head that says something along the lines of, “This day would have been perfect, minus all the mothering.”
And then you’ll probably feel guilty about it.
I’m here to tell you if your dream Mother’s Day means not being a mom for part — or all — of the day, I feel you. The notion of being celebrated is in contrast to the reality of laundry, tantrums, diapers and eyerolls.
It’s no one’s fault. It’s just that kids are unpredictable and have a limited time span on being on their best behavior. And despite the handmade cards and thoughtful gift the hubs took the kids to pick out, it’s hard to feel glorious, loved and cherished when your kids are fighting over whose turn it was to sit next to Mom, or your big one reminds you his baseball uniform is dirty and he’s got practice the next day.
We’ve still got a few days left before the big day, so I have a suggestion: Don’t feel guilty about doing exactly what you want to do on the one day of the year you get to. And, if your Mother’s Day doesn’t go as planned, like mine last year, don’t feel badly about taking a break. After all, this day is all about you. There’s no need to feel guilty about that.
