We all know that mothers-in-law have a bad reputation, but most are totally harmless. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case, as one mom found out recently. A Reddit user going by the name kbrayy_13 posted in the Mom subreddit asking for advice about her mother-in-law’s “weird” behavior with her infant son. She wanted to know whether she was being an overprotective first-time mom, or if there was something more sinister going on with her mother-in-law.
She wrote:
FTM here to a beautiful 6 month old baby boy!
My mother-in-law is already not my favorite person bc of how hateful she is to my husband and his dad so I try to just bite my tongue on most things that irritate me to keep the peace but I can’t let this go and I need some non biased advice—we have a no kissing rule and she has broken that rule many times—while looking me directly in the eye she kissed him on his face and then allowed 3 people to kiss him on the face when I wasn’t paying attention…resulting in my boy getting RSV at 3 months old. She says I’m too over protective and just scared of everything and called me crazy to my face and told me that I’m acting “like a f***ing idiot” and to get over it. At thanksgiving she asked me: “has he found his little wiener yet” and I said yes, and that we are having to watch him during diaper changes bc he is scratching himself! Then she asked: “has he got a boner yet?” When I said no she asked: “Do you ever run your finger up and down his thigh to make him get a boner? It’s so funny!” I was stunned and I just said no and moved the convo along but I can’t quit thinking about it. Has she done that to him before? WHY would anyone try to intentionally give a 6 month old baby a boner. I don’t think it’s funny at all. Am I being crazy?
Mother-in-law being weird with baby boy
byu/kbrayy_13 inMom
Commenters were disturbed by what they read.
“You are definitely not being crazy! As for the whole “boner” thing, this is beyond disturbing. Some people have a bizarre reactions and responses to baby boys genitalia and don’t care about what is or isn’t appropriate,” Competitive-Aerie934 wrote. “For the safety of your child, do not let that woman near your son especially when he is in a vulnerable state. My husband and I had to cut off a close friend who was displaying similar behaviour and it was the best decision for us and for our son’s wellbeing. Definitely time to go NC with MIL.”
“What a disgusting person. If she would say something that nasty to your face, about a little innocent baby, I don’t want to think of what she’d try behind closed doors. She’s already disrespected you and put your child in danger, please don’t give her the chance to take it further,” wrote Wide-Street1781.
A commenter with the username here-bcuz-im-bored wrote, “She is not a safe person. Cut contact with her immediately. She should not have access to your child.”
The mom isn’t sure her husband will back her up.
In response to the comment from here-bcuz-im-bored, the mom wrote, “I totally agree. We have cut off contact once already for 2 months but it became a big issue with me and my husband bc she wouldn’t let his dad even speak to him and he just bows down to everything she says. She is 10000% not allowed alone with him anymore and I’m hoping my husband can back me up on that but we will see.”
The MIL is no longer permitted to have alone time with her grandson.
Although she decided that her mother-in-law isn’t allowed to be alone with her son anymore, many people think the mom’s boundaries aren’t going far enough. They warned the mom that her mother-in-law’s behavior is “alarming” and reminded her that her primary job is to protect her son, not her husband’s relationship with his father.
Unfortunately, the mother-in-law in this situation has already displayed inappropriate, predatory behavior. One commenter pointed out that the “majority of CSA [child sexual abuse] is done by relatives/family friends.”
In scenarios like this, the old adage “Better safe than sorry” really rings true.
It’s time to cut ties completely.
As hard as it may be to cut ties, when it’s an issue of child safety, it becomes necessary. At this point, going no contact may be the only option for this family. Hopefully, the parents of this 6-month-old boy can get on the same page and find peace in their decision to protect his safety.
If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, the National Sexual Assault Hotline provides confidential 24/7 support. Call 800-656-HOPE (4673) or chat online at RAINN.
