There are plenty of myths and stereotypes out there about raising boys — and also plenty of moms who are proud to buck outdated expectations. “I’m here to say that if you find yourself raising boys, it doesn’t have to be a miserable, dirt-filled, testosterone fest,” Carla Wiking, a mother of two boys, wrote for Mom.com.
That said, even if you are working hard to defy that whole “boys will be boys” mentality, there are some common experiences when you’re a mother of sons. “They are just different in every way they could possibly be from me,” says Marija Thomas, a mother of two school-age boys in Los Angeles.
You’re outnumbered
A mother of sons probably knows what it’s like to be the only woman in the house.
You will buy more milk/cereal/groceries than you ever imagined
Growing boys eat — a lot. So don’t be surprised if your wallet starts quaking in the grocery checkout line.
Boys do cry
“They cry just as much as I do — maybe even more,” says Thomas. And that’s important for their emotional progress, writes Jennifer Kogan, a clinical social worker, in the Washington Post.
“In addition to combating depression, it seems evident that boys who stay connected to their feelings will be able to express their anger in healthier, more productive ways,” she writes.
There will be pee
“They don’t know how to pee in a toilet no matter how many times you show them,” says Thomas.
There will be snuggles
“There are snuggles. From both boys. That’s the best,” says Mia Marano, a mother of two in Los Angeles.
There will be video games
Fortnite is a fact of life, so the Floss might be with us for a while longer.
There will be silence
“Their silence — both the intentional and unintentional — can be torture,” says Thomas. “It’s awful to realize that the years you spent as a young woman thinking, ‘What is he thinking?’ really were a waste of time because the answer is nothing. He’s not ruminating on the complexities of your extended family or the nuance of the way you said ‘fine’ yesterday about the choice of where to eat. He’s thinking about what is happening right in front of his face. That’s it.”
You want to save them from toxic masculinity, too
“The worst part about being a boy mom is that after spending a whole lifetime worrying that a boy would hurt you, you worry that someone will hurt your boy,” says Thomas. “You understand that there is a whole misogyny industrial complex out there ready to insinuate itself right into your precious boy’s heart and ruin him forever. Because I really do think that all that toxic masculinity hurts boys, maybe not more than girls, but just as much.”
