When I came home from the hospital with my daughter, I was absolutely exhausted. Sleeping in the postpartum unit at the hospital had been next to impossible since we were woken up multiple times a night — and not just by our newborn baby.
Nurses were in and out of our room every few hours, as well as the pediatrician, my OB-GYN, the audiologist, a photographer, a lactation consultant, researchers, dining staff, cleaning staff, and other hospital personnel. It seemed like every time I managed to finally doze off, someone else was knocking on the door.
By the time we left the hospital, I was drained. I knew I’d be tired — but I thought I’d be worn out from labor and delivery, not from the complete lack of sleep. Luckily, the adrenaline and joy of having a new baby was keeping me going.
When I was pregnant, I had seen all these dreamy pictures and videos on social media of parents sleeping in a luxurious bed while their newborn snoozed in a bedside bassinet. As lovely as it looked, I knew a bedroom setup like that was probably unrealistic. My husband and I had discussed taking shifts sleeping in our bed, but I didn’t know exactly how that would look when we had a newborn (almost a preemie) who needed near-constant breastfeeding.
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Our Setup
Our beautiful baby girl arrived three weeks early, so we weren’t exactly finished setting up our house. When we got home, the first thing we set up was a DockATot Kind Essential Bassinet — a lightweight, portable cardboard bassinet. We put it in the living room as a safe place for our daughter to sleep, lounge, and play. For months, my husband and I slept in shifts, one of us in the bed, one of us on “baby duty” on the couch. It might not sound ideal, but it truly saved my sanity.
Newborn Sleep
Newborns need a lot of sleep — they typically sleep about 16 hours per day, split between day and night. Most newborns wake up every 1-3 hours to eat. Although 8 hours of sleep during the day and 8 hours of sleep at night might sound like plenty of time for parents to get enough sleep, we aren’t used to waking up every few hours (and many parents have a hard time falling back asleep).
During early infancy, babies don’t sleep quietly. REM sleep — also called “active sleep” — for babies can be noisy. Babies may breathe irregularly, grunt, twitch, jerk their arms and legs, and open/move their eyes. Active sleep can be disruptive for parents who are light sleepers, especially if you’re sharing a room with your newborn, which is recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).
The AAP recommends room sharing (not bed sharing) for the first six months because it can decrease the risk of SIDS by as much as 50%. Room sharing can make it easier to watch, comfort, and feed your baby, but it can definitely make it harder for parents to get restful sleep.
Our daughter’s active sleep was very active. She made tons of noises. My husband was able to sleep through it no problem (of course), but I’d wake up at every grunt or whimper. If we both tried sleeping at the same time with our newborn in our room, my husband would get plenty of sleep while I’d get next to none. Figuring out a shift system was essential for us (especially me) to get consistent, uninterrupted sleep.
How to Create a Night Shift System
Creating a night shift system that works for your family depends on how you each sleep, how you’re feeding your baby, and how many bedrooms you have in your house. I’d recommend designating your own bedroom as the sleeping room, since it’s probably the environment where you feel the most comfortable and relaxed. For the person who is on a baby shift, use a guest room or the living room.
We have one bedroom in our house, so we designated the living room as the baby’s space. Whoever was “on duty” would be with our daughter in the living room, while the person “off duty” would sleep in the bedroom. We used a portable bassinet in the living room so our daughter could sleep comfortably. If she was asleep, the parent “on duty” could nap on the couch to get some extra rest.
The most important thing to do is set guidelines with your partner. What tasks is the person “on duty” responsible for? This can include things like changing diapers, washing/sterilizing bottles and pump parts, and feeding the baby. Depending on how you’re feeding your newborn, this will probably have the biggest impact on your shift schedule. If mom is exclusively breastfeeding, she’ll need to be woken every time baby is hungry — but if you’re using bottles (with formula or pumped breastmilk), the other parent can handle feeds.
Our typical nightly schedule involved me sleeping from 9 p.m.-3 a.m. while my husband took a shift with the baby, then I’d take over from 3 a.m.-9 p.m. I breastfed our daughter, but I started pumping after 10 days, so my husband was able to bottle-feed our daughter during his shifts. At 9 a.m., I would sometimes go back to sleep for a few hours, depending on whether I got any rest on the couch while my daughter slept.
When to Transition Out of Night Shifts
Many parents find that night shifts are essential for the first few weeks of baby’s life, or until they can sleep longer stretches. Of course, night shifts often end when one (or both) parents have to return to work. Unfortunately, that’s just days or weeks after birth for many parents in the U.S.
My husband and I were lucky to both have 12 weeks of parental leave, so we continued taking shifts until our daughter was about three months old. We started transitioning her to a bassinet in our bedroom for some of her sleep during the last month of leave, just so she could get used to sleeping in a different environment.
There’s no right or wrong time to transition out of night shifts, it really just depends on what works for your family!
