“Mom! Mom!” My 6-year-old daughter came flying down the stairs to find me in the kitchen making potato salad (like a good Midwestern woman should). “Mom! Christopher invited me to Madness Mountain! And if I go with him, I get a prize!”
“Uh… what?” I cocked a confused eyebrow as I stirred in the mayo. “He wants you to go where?”
“Come outside and he’ll tell you!”
I went outside to find one of the neighbor boys my daughter often plays with dressed up like an explorer. “I heard you’re going to Madness Mountain!” I exclaimed in my best “I’m a cool mom” voice.
“It’s Mountain Madness,” he said proudly, showing off his vest. “And it’s for VBS. If I bring someone new, I get a prize.”
VBS. Ah. I knew that acronym from my days as a Methodist.
Vacation Bible School. Something that was fun as a kid when all you did was eat snacks, sing songs, and make crafts
More like a prison as a tween where you were forced to give up your summer to get dragged to church and sing cheesy songs about how they left the unicorns off of the Ark.
“OK, well, have your mom text me the info,” I said as the kids went back to playing. That night, I got a text from my neighbor with the details. I didn’t know this, but they attend a church that, of the ones in the immediate area, holds the values that are furthest from my personal beliefs. Conservative. Evangelical. I cringed.
I talked it over with my husband, and in the end, we decided to let our daughter go
She clearly wanted to do an activity with her friend, and honestly, we didn’t see the harm in it. What it came down to was this: I wondered what would happen if one of her Jewish friends invited her to a temple event, or if she had a Muslim friend who invited her to something. I would want her to go for the cultural experience so we could talk about it later, and she could decide what she believes based on a wide range of encounters with different faith systems.
The evangelical church is in a similar situation. Though it is Christian, which is obviously the dominant faith in our country, our family does not go to church. So, visiting an evangelical church would be a new cultural experience for her.
The only times I’ve talked about God with my daughter was when she asked questions. Specifically, she wanted to know where her great grandparents were. We talked about the concept of the soul living on after the body’s death. I use the phrase “some people believe…” before describing a concept to her, and I always follow it up with, “and you can choose to believe that if you would like.”
So, my husband and I sent her to VBS, and we had ourselves a very nice date night! My daughter came home very excited. She loved the activities and the singing, and she and her friends were both given prizes. Of course, in my personal opinion, I thought the whole “woo the children with prizes to believe in this version of Sky Daddy” was morally questionable but undoubtedly effective.
Yes, I was a little concerned that she would come home with hard-set ideas about the nature of the universe
Turns out there was nothing to worry about. Apparently, in one night of church, she learned that there was a “Mountain Chief” who was the “father of everybody, even you, Mom! Oh wait, what about Grandpa?” She also told me that the Mountain Chief killed his mother and then brought her back to life, and that if you die you come back as an animal. Yeah, we had a lot to talk about when she got home!
I’m very glad that my daughter was able to have this experience, and I think if she is asked to go another time, I’ll send her
I’m happy to have her ask me those “tough” questions as she grows older, because I want to have those meaningful discussions. She has been, and will continue to be, raised in an agnostic, accepting home where we encourage learning and exploration. Besides, the studies have already been done — kids who grow up in nonreligious households are actually more likely to be altruistic and generous. No matter what “Mountain Chief” says.
