I normally ignore memes, but one on Instagram recently (courtesy @justgirlproject) perfectly summarized my bad habit. The meme focused on Revenge Bedtime Procrastination, which is the refusal to go to sleep — no matter how friggin’ exhausted you are — because you want that me time you can control and feel you deserve.
When I finally get my girls to bed around 9 p.m., I’m oftentimes so tired even my eyelashes hurt. I should crawl into bed myself. I deserve at least six hours of sleep, but I want to spend time with my husband, read, binge The Chi (it’s so good!), take a long shower, and do 76 other things when I finally have some ‘me’ time because the daytime hours don’t belong to me — they belong to my daughters, work, my husband, even friends.
Staying up late when I should be in bed is my way of saying ‘eff you’ to the daytime hours
I’m in control now, dark sky…
I consulted with Southern California psychotherapist — and mother of twins — Dr. Jenn Mann and asked: Why do we fight bedtime even though we’re utterly exhausted?
“We all need to put gasoline back in the emotional tank,” she explained. “When we’re out of gas, we tend to have a shorter fuse and feel resentful toward the people who are using the gas. Even when they are normal expectations of a parent, when we are depleted and not taking good care of ourselves, we can feel burned out and/or resentful.”
Starting at an early age, Dr. Mann recommends teaching your kids to play alone without the use of electronics. This is beneficial for their emotional and intellectual development as well as your sanity. “When you leave a child in their bed with some books or a puzzle, it will allow you some time to yourself to replenish your energy,” Mann said.
I often hear about the importance of ‘me’ time
However, it’s hard to find some, and the lack of it can trigger depression in many individuals — myself included, Plus, because of the global pandemic, I know I’ve lost track of who I am — or was. Basically, I’m just rundown and mad, but know I’m not alone.
“I recommend making a list of at least 50 self-care activities that feel good to you. What will reinvigorate you and help you to chill out is different for each person,” said Dr. Mann. It can be a good phone call with a girlfriend, a creative project, or a hot bath — it differs for everyone. “Knowing who you are and what works for you is key.”
A mom friend once told Dr. Mann: “Prior to kids, it used to take a day at the spa to make me feel replenished. Now that I am a mom, I can do it in an hour.”
Knowing ourselves well enough to do the things that make us feel good and not making ourselves feel guilty about our choices is important.
With that being said, it is now 10:37 p.m.
I’m shutting off the TV, unplugging my laptop, and crawling into bed before 11 p.m. (Miracle!) Because an "early" bedtime makes me happy and guilt-free.
Well, at least till tomorrow when I’ll prob stay up past midnight.
