It’s extra hard being a parent right now, but man, if I’ve learned anything from our unplanned distance-learning experiment, it’s a whole lot harder being an elementary school teacher. There are just. so. many. kids.
One unexpected benefit of overhearing my son’s Zooms is hearing how his 4th grade teacher manages to wrangle two dozen kids, even teach them a thing or two, and not lose her head in the process. In a weird way, it’s like having another adult in the room — one with much better organizational skills, who is communicative and engaging, and who gets more done with a lot less (i.e., no) yelling.
I’m starting to adopt some of her tricks, and it really does make me a better, more effective parent. Here are a few of my favorites.
Preview the schedule
Every 4th grader hears what the week will be like, what the day will be like, and even what the upcoming hour will bring — and that makes transitions from one task to the next (always a sticking point in my house) a whole lot smoother. A kid needs to know what to expect.
Say what you just said — then say it again
This lesson dates back to Aristotle — which means it’s an oldie but a goody. Tell them what you are going to tell them. Tell them. Then tell them what you told them. That’s how you make information stick.
Say, 'That’s interesting …'
An answer isn’t wrong, it’s interesting — and we want to know more! I know all too well how a simple correction can end a discussion, just like that. But a comment and a question lets the kiddo figure out where their logic goes off the rails, by themselves.
Remind them you are trying your best
We adults aren’t perfect, and that’s perfectly OK. Zoom isn’t always working. Dinner isn’t always delicious. We just remind our kiddos that we are doing our best given the situation — and move on.
Relentlessly recognize the positive
If you look at the data behind relationships and even work dynamics, the optimal ratio is around 5:1 — five positive comments or interactions to balance out one negative.
'Let’s get it out of your system'
Instead of fighting the fidgets and trying to tame hyperactivity, cut it off at the pass. Making kiddos mooooooove — run, jump, do a Fortnite dance — releases some of that pent-up pandemic energy. After that, when you ask them to do something that requires focus, you can expect a little more compliance.
Close out with a cat meme
Sometimes, it’s a tough day. You can’t get the math right, or the words for the assignment just don’t come. But a little light humor — cat meme or otherwise — can go a long way toward leaving things on a positive note. Which makes the kiddos more inclined to look forward to tomorrow.
