Wanting to be a responsible preggo, I started doing research moments after my first positive pee stick test. Well, right after I peed again. I searched the internet, called mom friends, and then made mental notes about how to avoid all the soft cheeses and sushi. The one thing my research didn’t point out was how to avoid all the random advice from others. When my belly popped out, so did the people with their unsolicited parenting suggestions.
Strangers and family members loved imparting their own brand of wisdom about anything from breastfeeding to why I’d never wear jeans again. All this information did nothing to feed my confidence, but it did do wonders to make me feel nervous — especially the clichés. These repetitive tidbits were the absolute worst at creating panic-provoking thoughts and setting unrealistic parenting expectations. So, for all you mamas out there (especially you newbies), let’s set the record straight. Here are a few parenting clichés you should never ever listen to and why.
Sleep when the baby sleeps
This was the number one piece of parenting advice I heard. Since I was always ready for a good nap, the tip seemed doable — until it wasn’t. This phrase caused me the most mom guilt because my son did not sleep. Finally, I learned to leave this not-so-helpful hint behind and develop a schedule that worked best for us — which included a lot of not sleeping.
It gets easier
Cornered in an elevator, a woman smiled at my pregnant self and said, “It gets easier as they grow up.” Like believing that sleep training could happen overnight, I totally bought it. Of course, nothing about parenting is all that simple — except loving my kiddo. Soon after figuring out sleep training, my son was more about training me to stay awake. I figured out that each stage has its own set of challenges, and “ease” doesn’t have a whole lot to do with it.
Listen to the experts
There are many different approaches to parenting, and the parenting experts out there cover them all. From discussing the benefits of baby-led weaning to then telling me why this isn’t the best idea, these experts did an expert job of confusing me. I was prepared to follow their professional suggestions until I gave birth. That’s when I decided to follow my own advice: Parenting experts are wonderful guides, but I knew my son better than anyone else, so it was up to me to be my own expert.
There’s no shortage of people who want to “help” by offering their own parenting experience and advice, and the parenting clichés are aplenty. From surprising encounters in restaurant bathrooms to being followed down the baked goods aisle at the grocery store, the tips (and the tippers) may never stop. Eventually, I took my own advice and let my son be my biggest parenting guide. And am I enjoying that? Absolutely.
