The saying “it takes a village” has never resonated deeper with me than it has over the past five months into this pandemic. But because of the ease with which this virus spreads, my village is pared down to a small pod of families we’ve affectionately come to call our “extended germ circle.” Our little pod consists of a few families taking social distancing and mask wearing as seriously as we are. And it’s not become my kids’ lifeline this summer — it’s become mine.
Choosing how and whom to pod with is literally a life-or-death decision with serious potential health implications. There are social implications as well. Who you decide to pod with is also a statement on who you’re not going to see. So after two months of seeing nearly no other families outside of a Zoom cocktail hour, we decided to open up our germ circle so the kids — and adults — could see a few friends. I realize this isn't an option for many families, but if you're considering it, here's how we went about it…
First: The Vetting Process
Forming a pod means total honesty on each family’s part regarding who else they’re seeing and where else they’re going. The families we are seeing are seeing very few other families. And so are we. They’re not socializing in big groups. And when they do see others, they’re wearing masks or are outside, socially distanced. So are we.
Each member of the pod has to be comfortable with full disclosure. Every family has their own comfort level with public spaces during this health crisis. So if one family is getting all their groceries delivered while another is making regular visits to a potentially crowded Costco, everyone podding together has a right to know.
Most important, everyone in our little germ circle has a right to enforce rules or back out if they’re not comfortable with another family’s choices without risk of hurt feelings, eye rolls, gossip, judgment or long-term social ramifications. Taking one’s health seriously shouldn’t become social suicide.
Our rules: Our family’s rules have actually gotten more strict the longer COVID-19 continues. That means we see friends in the backyard, usually not more than one family at a time. And we spend the bulk of our time outside. Inside the house, everyone wears masks. And both kids and adults keep social distance at all times.
Next: How We Chose Families to Pod With
Forming a pod is a bigger commitment than marriage for the simple fact that everyone’s health — and life — is at risk. Trust is key.
First and foremost, we chose families we trust and with whom we feel comfortable having uncomfortable conversations. The families we’re seeing are taking the virus seriously and respect our rules and know we respect theirs.
We also chose kids who my kids like to spend a lot of time with. Because we're seeing only a few families this summer, the kids need to get along really well and for long periods of time. Since there are no camps, water parks, and amusement park trips this summer, their friends are their outlets for fun. That means we chose to pod with kids who my kids can count on getting along with and who have shared interests and energy levels.
Perhaps, more importantly, we chose our close friends. Just like the kids are spending a lot of time together, so are the adults. So wherever possible, we’re seeing our closest friends, and we are happy to catch up with those we’re not as close with once it’s not so difficult to spend time together safely.
As hard as this extended crisis is on all of us, we feel like we’ve come this far and will continue to do our best to keep our family safe. Thanks to our little pod, that task is a little bit easier.
