During the recession of the early 2010s, my husband lost his job of 10 years due to budget cuts. At the time, we had a 5-year-old, and I was pregnant with our second child. I had been a stay-at-home mom since our first son was born, partially because childcare was so expensive where we lived. After my husband was laid off, I tried to find part-time, weekend work, but after the baby was born, that became increasingly difficult.
It took one very long year for my husband to find a new job. During that time, he collected unemployment and worked as a substitute teacher when work was available. For the first time in our lives, we applied for government assistance, including Medicaid, SNAP (food stamps) and WIC. My husband and I are both college-educated, with master’s degrees. This was not a reality we ever expected.
The experience was humbling, to say the least. And while I was never more stressed than I was that year, it taught me a few things…
I learned how to live big in a small space
When my husband lost his job, we were living in a one-bedroom 600- square-foot apartment. We expected to move soon after our second child was born. But clearly, life had other plans. So we made living in a tiny apartment with two small kids work. We spent a lot of time in parks and attended free programs in places like libraries and rec centers. When we were home, we did a lot of creative play (thankfully, my son was the perfect age for that), and turned each and every precious inch of our home into a special play place for our son. Thankfully, the baby was happy to just sleep or nurse in my arms for most of that year.
I learned never to judge someone who uses government assistance
I had never really been one to judge someone for receiving food stamps or unemployment, but I thought of them as different from me in some way. I didn’t think our family would ever be in that situation. But I learned that people who receive government assistance are usually normal, hardworking folks who are going through rough times. I see everything totally differently now, and I also wholeheartedly support these government assistance programs, and think they should be more robust than they already are.
I became a lifelong budgeter
We had no choice but to stay on a strict budget during this time, and I became an obsessive budgeter. I recorded every cent we spent. I eventually downloaded a budgeting app to my phone to help with that. I used a “zero sum” budget, where you record the amount that you expect to earn for a particular month, and then make sure your spending matches that amount exactly. This way you never spend above your means.
Even though we are much more comfortable financially now, I still use this same app! I believe it’s been able to help keep us out of debt and save money for future expenses.
I learned to count my blessings
There’s nothing like financial stress to make you realize what really matters in life. It’s not money, but the people around you. As we cared for our two small sons in that tiny little apartment on very little money, I realized that what I needed most in life was right there, before my eyes and in my arms. Our little family had a rough year that year, but in so many ways, we thrived.
After about a year, my husband was finally able to get a good job, and I eventually went back to work. That level of financial stress is long behind us, but the experience taught me so much about humility, perseverance, and the strength of my mama heart.
