Having sex before six weeks postpartum isn’t recommended — bodies need time to heal after childbirth — but some parents do it anyway.
According to the March of Dimes, “Most doctors recommend waiting six weeks after giving birth to have sex again.” After birth, your uterus is recovering from a huge physical trauma, and the area where the placenta was attached takes time to heal. During this time period, your body is vulnerable to infection, so you’ll want to avoid putting anything that could introduce bacteria into the vagina.
Since physical healing looks different for everyone, many women don’t feel comfortable having sex until well after they’re officially “cleared” at six weeks. Others, though, just can’t wait.
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Here are some stories from moms who ignored doctors’ advice and had sex before they were six weeks postpartum:
"I was the one who couldn't wait."
Many women feel pressured by their partners to have sex before they’re ready — but not this mom. She admits she “begged” her husband to get intimate just four weeks after giving birth. She wrote:
“Four weeks PP. He didn’t beg me or anything, I was the one who couldn’t wait. A few days beforehand, I was rubbing up against him while he … helped himself … and I orgasmed just from that. It got to the point where I had ‘blue ovaries’ so bad that it hurt, and I begged HIM. 10/10 would do it again, some of the best sex we ever had.
But, like everyone else is saying, don’t do it if you don’t feel that your body is ready. I did get three stitches (in the front, not perennial[sic],) and we were very careful to avoid them, so it didn’t hurt me. Just listen to your body, and make your decisions from there. If you’re unsure, don’t chance it. I’m sure it would be embarrassing as hell to go back to the ob-gyn because you’d messed yourself up because you couldn’t wait. lol”
"Once bleeding stops, it's safe."
Most women experience postpartum bleeding for at least a few weeks after giving birth (sometimes longer). According to this woman, her midwife told her it would be safe to partake in sexual intercourse once her bleeding stopped. She explained:
“My midwife said that once bleeding stops it’s safe, as long as I feel ready. With my first we waited six weeks because I was nervous. For my second, we waited four. And for my third, we waited eight because my bleeding lasted longer.”
"Use condoms!"
No matter when you start having sex again, make sure you’re having safe sex! The last thing you want to do is have an unexpected pregnancy while you have a newborn. This woman wrote:
“We got busy at four weeks. I had a few stitches, but they were all healed by that point. My one word of advice: Use condoms! We didn’t and I didn’t get pregnant (yay!), but when I went in to get my IUD placed at six weeks pp, they wouldn’t give it to me because I admitted to unsafe sex and might’ve been pregnant. They made me go on the mini pill for four more weeks, then I went back in and got the IUD placed. I wasted quite a bit of time!”
"We took it extremely slow."
If you do choose to have sex before the recommended six-week wait, you’ll want to take things very slowly, like this woman, who had sex three weeks after giving birth:
“Three weeks! We took it extremely slow, lots of foreplay and had lube ready. Initial entry didn’t feel as nice as it usually does, but if you take your time and slow things down, it feels great again in a couple of seconds.
Vag delivery, 2nd degree rip.”
"It felt like little razor blades."
Of course, some people who have sex before the six-week mark don’t find it enjoyable at all. One woman, who was cleared by her doctor at five weeks, still had a lot of pain when she tried having sex with her partner. She wrote:
“We tried some mutual masterbation[sic] at five weeks PP, then at my five-week appointment I was cleared for sex, so we did it the next day. It wasn’t horrible but wasn’t comfortable either. It felt like little razor blades even with lube. We tried again at six weeks PP and it was much better with me on top and didn’t hurt.”
"It was no different than six weeks."
Giving birth is traumatic for your body, especially your vagina — after all, your cervix and vagina have to stretch to 10cm to deliver vaginally. And if you have a c-section, you’re going through a physical trauma as well, even if it doesn’t affect your vagina as much. One woman explained that she tried having sex after four weeks and it felt the same as having sex after six weeks: uncomfortable. She explained:
“Four weeks pp, and it was no different than six weeks pp. Both times sucked. It took months to feel better. I had no tearing and an easy recovery. No infection or anything weird happened. I was given ‘permission’ to resume when I felt comfortable.”
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
