Moms are the silent heroes of the stories of our lives. If you’re not a mom, you might not realize that. It’s because we don’t need cookies or kudos — we’re just happy to see our children happy, and if we can do something to make that happen, even better. We pave ways, fight bullies, and lift you up, without ever saying a word. We put everyone else’s needs first because we are caretakers and nurturers.
No one asks us to — we just do it
Unfortunately, we often forget to take care of ourselves: mentally, spiritually, and physically.
As a mom who suffers from my own mental illness diagnosis, bipolar 1, this past year has really affected the way I move through my day-to-day life. The world feels unrecognizable, wild and beyond my control. I feel like an outsider in my own life, watching this disaster unravel with no power to do anything about it during this pandemic. All I can do is hunker down, protect my people, and pray we all survive it. It’s exhausting and leaves little room for anything else in my life, but I need to take care of myself, too.
To do this, I’ve become hyper aware of my moods and how I’m reacting, because the weight of the worry and anxiety of COVID is a lot to bear for this mom who’s prone to sudden bouts of full-on mania. Believe me, it’s not as fun as the movies would have you believe.
I have to stay acutely aware of how I’m feeling so I can properly care for my mental health
It’s imperative that my mental health is a priority, and I stop and regroup when I need to. I can’t just power through, which is what I usually do, because the ramifications for my family (as we’re all quarantined together 24/7) would be catastrophic, so I get to add mood police to my list of daily responsibilities. Apparently, I am not only everyone else’s keeper, I am my own keeper.
I know I’m not alone in this
There are many moms and dads who suffer from mental illness, and for us this pandemic has been triggering. In fact, I know a lot of people who are usually pretty mentally stable who have been suffering bouts of COVID-induced anxiety and depression.
In the middle of a pandemic, the world is an uncertain place and we retreat into our heads. But fear not, there is more that can be done than just buckling in and holding on for dear life.
Just remember these things:
• The most important thing is to give yourself the grace and permission to feel your feelings but not let them overwhelm you to the point where you feel trapped in them.
• Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, whether that means talking to a friend or a family member or a licensed mental health professional. As far as I’m concerned, a good psychologist and psychiatrist should be on everyone’s speed dial during this pandemic.
• Don’t be embarrassed. There is nothing to be ashamed about. You wouldn’t be ashamed of being a diabetic or having cancer, so don’t be ashamed of having a mental illness.
• Don’t hide it. I know it’s awkward to let people know that you are suffering from a mental illness, and nobody wants to be looked at like they’re “crazy.” But you are not alone, and sharing it is actually liberating, even if it is terrifying. Hiding a diagnosis from people you care about is burdensome.
• Don’t let it be the thing that defines you. You are more than your diagnosis, so don’t let it stop you from being the bad b@tch you are.
• Remember that your kids are watching and they aren’t judging you for the mental illness you have. They will remember how you loved them and how you took care of yourself, so that you could take care of them.
The mental health struggle is real right now
There are so many of us, all over the world, on this struggle bus together. I think this is the perfect time for all of us to embrace our mental health and do everything we can to get through this pandemic mentally.
Remember, it’s not just us parents who are struggling with anxiety, depressio,n and suicidal thoughts — our kids are having a really hard time trying to navigate the stress of a global pandemic, virtual learning, quarantining, and all the other normal stuff kids have to go through on top of that. It’s finally time to pay attention and make our mental health a major priority — for all our sakes.
